Worked a lot as a child and barely played. Missed out on lots of personality development. I have more free time now and I want to play, but I don't totally understand how.
I was told when I have something fun to do, learn to fail the marshmallow test and just immediately eat the marshmallow. I feel paralyzed. I'm used to playing only if I'm invited by someone else to play, and I want to play more when I'm alone.
So far I sometimes draw and read a fun book. Both usually make me anxious, but they bring me feelings of accomplishment.
I'll be honest, it's mainly work friends that I see every day. And I know that's hit or miss gor everyone, situational and all that. Also the block of ice is on my roof so for me its a "do it or risk your roof caving in" deal, but I make it more interesting by indulging in my whims of seeing what random stuff in my place helps break ice. Like I've gotten a smaller rail spike I found years back and used it as a "chisel" that I beat I to the ice to break chunks off like I'm making an ice sculpture, or taking an old machete I got and and slashing at some ice like a martial artist, among other dumb shit I've used to break ice.
But anyways, I believe in you in that you'll get to where you're aiming for, so don't beat yourself up too much!