Not related to online interactions but IRL i want to be an actual ghost. A creature living in the walls. Burrow a collection of interconnected tunnels to scuttle around in. Live in an underground bunker never to be found again.
I've been considering getting a really remote and lonely job just so I don't have to deal with being seen in my work hours.
Sometimes i daydream about being able to just slip into a pocket dimension where its just me and walk around the world just looking at things with no one else around. Or even just being a ghost would be rly cool. Just float anywhere and look at stuff
I think this is a trauma reaction to having a history of being seen negatively and feeling an inability to be seen any other way. Source: me too, I just try to not be in my head about it.