The further away I move from liquor, the more visceral disgust I feel towards the substance. For years before I became an alcoholic, I had always maintained that alcohol is the absolute worst drug in every sense. Definitely the most inebriating, stupifying drug. Also the worst hangover with the exception of meth. My sleep is also starting to get a lot better now that I don't have to drink to get to sleep. There's no more shame from the immense effort that goes towards hiding an addiction. The further out I get, the more worth it it is

  • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]M
    ·
    6 months ago

    I'm guessing it's just because of how horrible alcohol was for me that I have such a revulsion towards it now. I still crave it of course, but alcohol was significantly worse for me than a literal fentanyl addiction.

    • CommunistBear [he/him]
      ·
      6 months ago

      Well if it helps you maintain your sobriety then maybe the revulsion is a good thing. That's wild that it was that worse than a fentanyl addiction. Why do you think that was?

      • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]M
        ·
        6 months ago

        Alcohol is by far the drug that makes you the stupidest the quickest. It changes decisionmaking in bigger and worse ways than opiates. Alcohol was physically and emotionally far worse for me than opiates. It made my suicidal ideation cease to just be ideation, I'd start doing major things to hurt myself because I was drunk, with alcohol even being a form of self harm. At its worst, I lost 100 pounds because of all of the vomiting I did while drinking. I made my seizure disorder much worse, and would have a grand mal seizure due to alcohol like once a month. Nerve pain from alcohol is also brutal.

        • CommunistBear [he/him]
          ·
          6 months ago

          Nerve pain from alcohol is also brutal

          It took literally until you mentioned that for me to notice I haven't felt those weird nerve tingles in my hands in a few weeks. I always figured those were from an old back injury or something, not drinking as much as I did

          • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]M
            ·
            6 months ago

            Yeah that's nerve damage you're feeling. I get them less often, but get sensory overload a lot more than I used to now that I'm not drinking. Like my skin burns from touching things. I'm hoping this gets better the further away I get from alcohol