first off, obviously those guys suck so bullet dodged. flirting is fun on its own, if people get legit mad at you for flirting and not going any further that tells you all you need to know about them.

second, idk comrade, it might be a good idea to talk to like a therapist or whatever and see if they can help you isolate whether you want to date or under what conditions you'd be interested in it. sounds like a task for somebody who studies people to me