The withdrawal certainly isn't getting any better, but I think I'm really gonna be able to do it this time. I've been up since about 4 or 5, I just couldn't sleep very long at all. And I'm still pretty fuckin sick otherwise from withdrawal. But I went to 2 groups yesterday, and am about to attend another one this morning. My goal is to go to at least one everyday this week. I'm so tired of being stuck in a cycle of withdrawal, where one hard night of binging puts me back to being physically dependent almost immediately because of my past Phenibut addiction. I know I've posted here a million times about relapsing, but I really think this is gonna be the time that sticks and that excitement is keeping me going.
That's a lot better mindset to have Leyla, keep thinking of your journey to sobriety as a rising tide. As we watch the waves wash the shore we notice it recedes, yet every time a new wave progresses it swells with greater size and reaches further than the last wave as it reaches new land. Even the receding water will recede less and less with each new wave, and gradually through steady and methodical repetition it'll come to flood the land and reshape nature through its momentum.
You got this!
Thank you for that beautiful prose. I really appreciate the support.