I-was-saying "the baron is playing chess; he must be a lazy, shiftless bum"

  • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
    ·
    28 days ago

    Two weird things people assume about me often enough that it's worth mentioning, that is good at chess, cause I'm smart and that I'm Jewish which I think is cause I'm funny and do bring a sort of Larry David vibe to the table. I don't even know how to play chess, I don't know what all the pieces do. And my family are Anglican loyalists who moved to Canada and German Midwesterners who went to Canada instead of the midwest.

    However me and another guy at work have started a bit where we call random chess moves to each other at work and occasionally say things like 'ahh! The morrocan gambit, how clever!' to give customers the impression that we're super geniuses

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
        ·
        edit-2
        28 days ago

        "We need a kid's spaghetti, a mushroom Alfredo, 1 dine in arancini and some sprouts! Rook 2 to pawn 6!"

        "Just swapped the oil so the aranchini is gonna take longer than normal! Knight to bishop 1, checkmate!"

        "Just crank the fryer for a bit and it'll go faster, just remember to turn it down after, and are you sure about that checkmate?"

        "Sorry, check"

        "That's fine, it's a busy night. Speaking of busy knight mine takes your rook!"

        We spend like 30 hours a week together and have for 3 years now, we are really good at improv with each other by now

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]
      ·
      edit-2
      28 days ago

      Bongcloud

      Frenchman's Cumsock

      Monkey Bum

      Only one of these is made up and the other two are the names of openings used by grandmasters in FIDE sanctioned events.

      • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
        ·
        28 days ago

        I think we'll keep going with things that sound like what a 1780s aristocrat might say, anyone who knows chess will catch on to the bit when they notice.were just naming chess pieces and letters and numbers at random. Here's some others we've made up:

        The Brussels Wager

        The Haliburton Exit (mine, I thought it was clever)

        The Barcelona Maneuver

        The Antwerp Flank

        The Dreaded Parallel Strategem of the Swiss

        The Buckaneer Open

        The Proto Indo European Midgame Meta