I audibly guffawed when I saw the title
I didn't post in dunk tank because the concept, title and byline are so silly that you can't get upset with it.
"You are right Comrade Peterson, I will clean my room and abandon this "communism" nonsense I was cooking up immediately."
Not sure about what definition of slovenly they're working on, but I'm pretty sure taking so many downers that you need to be put in a medically induced coma in Russia is a good indicator of slovenliness.