YOU WILL USE THE OPIUM OF THE PEOPLE

YOU WILL CALL ELO~N THE MEME MAESTRO

YOU WILL DAYDREAM ABOUT WHETHER YOU WILL GET A WINDOW SEAT ON THE MAGIC METAL DICK TO MARTIAN PARADISE

  • GrouchyGrouse [he/him]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 month ago

    "And so" said he, the divorced man

    "I have, at last, a master plan.

    To purchase things to woo a woman

    Buy her spices, silks, and linens

    Perhaps a horse for her to ride

    Will keep her loyal by my side."

    To the market he did hurry

    Moving quick and slightly worried

    He found the clothier had closed

    The flower shop had not a rose

    He asked about and found out, too

    The horses had been sold for glue

    He pulled his scalp as he despaired

    Unplugging all his plugged-in hair

    "I cannot buy the things I need,

    To get a girl to marry me!"

    He stopped a moment to reflect

    On what thing he would try next

    He called up all the fortune tellers

    Sayers-sooth and potion sellers

    Wizards, mystics, learn'ed men

    By bribe or threat he beckoned them

    He told them all (straight up of course)

    "You must make me un-divorced!"

    He drank the brews, said incantations

    Real stuff - no imitations!

    He fasted til he was delirious

    And said "At last!" (and he was serious)

    Proclaiming that he'd had a vision

    "It's not me, they need religion!"