i try my best, but i've been holding grace my whole life. i understand deprogramming is a lifelong battle and the only way to liberation is to continue to spark the fight.. but i'd be lying if i said it didn't effect me being ostracized not only by white cis-ness but even from your own supposed "communities". i would just like to not feel like i'm rowing against the tide alone constantly, as i'm sure many of us on here feel.