Faye Schulman, born on this day in 1919, was a Jewish partisan and photographer who took up arms against the Nazis who were responsible for killing her family.
On August 14th, 1942, the Germans killed 1,850 Jews from the "Lenin" ghetto (named after Lenin, Poland, where Faye was from), including her parents, sisters, and younger brother. Faye was spared for her ability to develop photographs, and the Nazis ordered Faye to develop their photographs of the massacre. Later, she cited taking a photo of her dead family in a mass grave as the impetus to take up arms.
During a partisan raid on the camp, Faye fled to the forests and joined the Molotava Brigade, a partisan group mostly comprised of escaped Soviet Red Army POWs. She was accepted because her brother-in-law had been a doctor and they were desperate for anyone who knew anything about medicine. Faye served the group as a nurse from September 1942 to July 1944, even though she had no previous medical experience.
During another raid on the Lenin ghetto, Faye succeeded in recovering her old photographic equipment. During the next two years, she took over a hundred photographs, developing the medium format negatives under blankets and making "sun prints" during the day. While on missions, Faye buried the camera and tripod to keep it safe. Schulman is the only known Jewish partisan photographer from this era.
"I want people to know that there was resistance. Jews did not go like sheep to the slaughter. I was a photographer. I have pictures. I have proof."
- Faye Schulman
After liberation, Faye married Morris Schulman, also a Jewish partisan. Faye and Morris enjoyed a prosperous life as decorated Soviet partisans, but wanted to leave Pinsk, Poland, which reminded them of "a graveyard." Morris and Faye lived in the Landsberg displaced persons camp in Germany for the next three years and immigrated to Canada in 1948.
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venting somewhat, mainly mental health stuff, nothing serious despite the nature of it cw: talking a little suicide/suicidal thoughts
I really wish I had someone to talk about this stuff mainly about suicidal thoughts and a few other things. I'm tired of constantly dealing with them and it would just be nice to talk about them. I know hexbear is not the place for this and only mental health professionals should be dealing with this. I'm aware and I'm not in crises or anything. And I try not to talk about this stuff on this site.
Anyways it just more like, it's just tiring constantly dealing with this. I also hate how like, how suicide thoughts are just viewed as fleeting. Temporary. Short term. But what if someone has been dealing with it for the majority of their life? It's not so temporary/short term, now is it? Hasn't been for me! If anything just feels like a part of myself at this point and it's normal every week to get those feeling of wanting death. Would be abnormal for me to not get those feelings every day, every week, every year.
I did try seeing a therapist for this last year, despite some of my trust issues with the mental health system, due to mental health professionals being very quick to jump the gun, by involuntary detaining you by siccing the police and forcing expensive medical bills onto you. Anyways she was very understanding, but like. I had to stop seeing her since my dad was getting angry that I was bothering to even see a therapist again. And it just not, really worth the conflict with him.
Just whatever. I guess it just sort of like, I hate what feels like. I don't know how to put into words. Just more so like, feeling unable to talk about stuff and have to bottle it up and let it eat at me. Since there no one to really talk about it and open up about it all freely. I'm not going to talk to my friends about this, they don't know how to handle it and it is unfair to them. I'm not going to talk to someone I don't know freely about these things because I don't know them also I don't want to randomly burden someone. I'm not going to talk to a mental health professional due to that distrust, unless if I feel like trying again, which I don't. Also like a lot of stuff for it is generally for short term, not long term. Anyways there just no one. But myself. At least I can talk to myself about these things freely without worry, it's what I do most of my days anyways just constantly talking to myself.
Maybe one day I'll figure it all out, or maybe not, maybe it will just always be like this. I don't know.