Hello! Sorry for the late mega last week. How are my disabled comrades doing?
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
Hi. It's my first time posting in this community. Lately there is a thought that's been bothering me. Apart from multiple psychiatric diagnoses I have at least 5 other physical problems regarding chronic pain, and as time goes by, more issues appear or they get worse. This makes me paranoid about what would other people think of me: they might think I'm hypochondriac or faking it for attention, laziness, drugs or who knows why.
Sometimes when I think about it it's almost laughable how fucked up my body is at my age. Like, some people wouldn't believe me if I were to tell them about all the shit I have to deal with regularly, and I would understand them... When you are "normal" it's easy to ignore how one chronic health issue can lead to another one, generating a cascade. I don't expect much understanding coming from those who are part of the "army of the upright" to us "deserters", as Virginia Woolf used to say.
Does anyone else ever had similar feelings? How do you deal with them?
I feel this, particularly the parts about problems cascading or worsening, how fucked my body is for my age, and how people would react with disbelief. My current strategy is not telling anyone but my doctor...
I'm lucky enough to have a significant other who gets and loves and supports me, but if I tried explaining to my family, the best I'd probably get is well-intentioned suggestions to exercise (I already do) or something.
Slightly off topic, but do you mind if I ask what you do for exercise? I really struggle with finding what works for me
I just do really basic vertical reps with tiny 5lbs weights, I'm trying to build back upper body strength, not much but y'know...
Yeah, I can relate in a sense. Sometimes, because I've come to expect to be dehumanised as soon as I mention that I'm autistic, I just say that I'm disabled if I'm just trying to convey that I'm having trouble with something relevant. The responses of disbilief I've gotten from people are very telling - if you look "normal" enough then you're just faking and being lazy, and are probably a benefit scrounger to boot.
The way I've dealt with it... well it's kinda hard to treat the symptoms of society as an individual, so mostly I just try to avoid people who are like that as a crude and unsatisfying solution. I just expect nothing from randoms - sometimes people get it, most of the time they don't unless they have first hand experience themselves. In spaces that will listen, I won't shut up about disability, but if it gets seen as me causing drama or that it's more trouble than it's worth, I don't have it in me to butt heads and I just fuck off.
As for personal relationships, I've internalised plenty of red flags from my various encounters that I'm looking out for. I barely have energy for myself, so it better be worth it if I'm building some kind of relationship with someone. Kinda hard to name specifics though I guess, that's the kinda thing this space is probably ok for - to unpack the ableist bullshit in your life as you're going through it with others who are doing the same
edit: spwlling