Hello! Sorry for the late mega last week. How are my disabled comrades doing?
As always, we ask that in order to participate in the weekly megathread, one self-identifies as some form of disabled, which is broadly defined in the community sidebar:
"Disability" is an umbrella term which encompasses physical disabilities, emotional/psychiatric disabilities, neurodivergence, intellectual/developmental disabilities, sensory disabilities, invisible disabilities, and more. You do not have to have an official diagnosis to consider yourself disabled.
Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
https://hexbear.net/post/4105536
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Please donate and share! Also the GFM link on the graphic is outdated, there’s a comment in the post linked above with more info
Hi all. I found this community while browsing locally on hexbear and I really like the vibes here, but it wasn't actively federated with my instance (dbzer0) so I've subscribed to it and now it should federate future content. Hopefully this doesn't increase the moderation burden, but I'm sure there's a few disabled comrades on this instance that will probably appreciate this community as much as I do.
Anyways, I'm not sure if I'll be active much as recently I've been feeling incredibly tired and heavy. I don't know if it's autistic burnout or bipolar depression, but I do know that I'll probably be lying in bed crying for the next few days at least.
Antidepressants are out of my system now and while they'd reduced in effectiveness, it's pretty obvious they were doing something so now I feel like total shit. My sleep is gone, I'm not taking amazing care of myself(I've managed to keep brushing my teeth so that's nice). Bleh
Appointment tomorrow for a new one. Unsure what to expect. I guess I'll just try my doctor's next suggestion and see how it goes.
The upside is I no longer sweat like a fucking pig for no reason, which sucked
How much time has passed since your last dose? Sometimes withdrawals symptoms can last for several weeks.
The upside is I no longer sweat like a fucking pig for no reason, which sucked
Oh, I've been on that one. I would sweat on my way out of the shower. Really impressive stuff.
Aw shit. Just got my SSI notice for what I'm getting paid next year. You're reading the proud post of a comrade who just received a $27 monthly raise. Off I go to spend it all on penny whistles and moon pies!
Regrettably, I'm the type of person who as soon as a misunderstanding happens, I quickly start to obsess over the circumstances that created the misunderstanding and seek to change them.
We were playing a trivia game to review for a final in my class and I was confused by one of the rules after I got something wrong. I spent the entire rest of the class focused not on what we were studying, but the rules of the game and why things happened as they did, and can it be prevented?
I must be exhausting lol
i'm really behind on laundry but idk how it's gonna get done with how shit i feel right now
fellow autistics (or others who struggle with certain foods) that celebrate christmas (in whatever capacity)- what do you have for your christmas dinner?
i personally can't eat turkey or pork, but chicken, beef and lamb are ok so i can have a more ""traditional"" roast (though the house is having curry for christmas eve). some friends struggle with all of them so are doing pizza instead
American chinese food. My immediate family used to be elaborate, cooking a lot and having big meals, but we stopped doing that as a combination of COVID and it being overwhelming for everyone. Now, we see much less family, have some cookies and other pastries, and I essentially just eat black beans and rice for the main meal. We just chill on Christmas Day itself, and get american chinese food. I'll probably have a sort of Tofu dish, and what's nice about this is that it allows for my sibilings to all pick foods that they want, since they're all fairly picky even if I'm not. They also all love some sort of sugar, so the desserts tend not to be the problem.
CW: Meat
My sibilings all eat a chicken dish that my grandmother makes, while also eating the beans and rice.
Edit: Deserts are not related, desserts are
Someone in general megathread linked this page, and it looks rather interesting: https://cleanaircrew.org/elastomeric-respirators/
Anyone here got any experience with this type of mask? Thinking that it might be worth getting one if it is less wasteful and if it fits more tightly than a regular FFP2/N95. Not sure where I would get one, though, these websites seem to be targeted at medical institutions instead of individuals that want to buy one.
i've used the half mask respirator with p100 filters before (3M 6000 in your link) but unfortunately for me i get a bit claustrophobic in them. i normally use aura masks but i recognize that they do break down and they're expensive.
although my partner actually finds those respirators more comfortable so they still might be worth trying out. they can be found on amazon or ppe suppliers, also hardware stores like home depot.
some have a cooling exhale valve which stops them from getting too moist on the inside, unlike standard n95s, so very comfortable in that sense. they also just look cool.
you have to speak very loudly and clearly in them though, they block a lot of sound.
I got one but was convinced it would make it too hard to hear me so I wear shitty KN95s :(.
I use elastomeric respirators all the time now. My everyday “going out” mask (for when i’m going to a public indoor space that’s going to have a decent density of people in it, i.e grocery shopping or class) is an MSA Advantage 900. Very good seal but it’s not the most comfortable thing in the world, but for the protection it gives I’m okay with that. my less heavy-duty mask (which i wear around my family, when going outdoors, occasionally in public indoor spaces if there’s a low density of people) is a Flo mask. Flo masks are pretty comfortable, they’re somewhat expensive though and I will say that for me the seal is not as secure as my MSA Advantage (it tends to break if i laugh, so I have to try not to laugh very much when I’m wearing it.) In general elastomerics have worked very well for me, it’s been great not having to constantly buy new masks and as far as I can tell I’ve been pretty well protected, but your mileage may vary.
I've tried GVS elipse, airboss, flomask, and have now for the past year used a dentec comfort air. The GVS hurt my nose bridge too much. The airboss was expensive, the straps wouldn't stay adjusted, and it split open after a few months, an absolute scam. The flowmask hurt my nose bridge and its small size caused gaps in the seal when I spoke or smiled, but I've heard it suits some people very well. The Dentec has suited my high nose bridge and far exceeded all others in comfort and seal integrity yet was the cheapest. I had to shop around to find the non-bulk order of it though. It's also all black and looks very cyberpunk.
Understand, though that your voice will be much more muffled in an elastomeric than disposable N95, and while some claim to have better audibility, it's not by much. I use my left over Auras when I know I'm going to talk to someone.
I only had 4 autistic meltdowns at work yesterday!
Guess who just cried while listening to a deathcore song because it sent his ear stimminess into overdrive? Guess who is a completely unregulated fucking mess right now? Guess who recently lowered his "straightness" down from 95% to 92% because motherfucking jawlines exist? This motherfucker, that's who!
I don't even know what I'm supposed to be doing today and it's my first day off this week. I need to get laundry folded but I really want to finish this website I'm working on too. I haven't gotten the text and such back from the peeps I'm making it for so it's at a standstill.
I should paint my nails.
E: I guess this whole goddamn album is gonna make my bain buzzy. Jesus.
Hi. It's my first time posting in this community. Lately there is a thought that's been bothering me. Apart from multiple psychiatric diagnoses I have at least 5 other physical problems regarding chronic pain, and as time goes by, more issues appear or they get worse. This makes me paranoid about what would other people think of me: they might think I'm hypochondriac or faking it for attention, laziness, drugs or who knows why.
Sometimes when I think about it it's almost laughable how fucked up my body is at my age. Like, some people wouldn't believe me if I were to tell them about all the shit I have to deal with regularly, and I would understand them... When you are "normal" it's easy to ignore how one chronic health issue can lead to another one, generating a cascade. I don't expect much understanding coming from those who are part of the "army of the upright" to us "deserters", as Virginia Woolf used to say.
Does anyone else ever had similar feelings? How do you deal with them?
I feel this, particularly the parts about problems cascading or worsening, how fucked my body is for my age, and how people would react with disbelief. My current strategy is not telling anyone but my doctor...
I'm lucky enough to have a significant other who gets and loves and supports me, but if I tried explaining to my family, the best I'd probably get is well-intentioned suggestions to exercise (I already do) or something.
Slightly off topic, but do you mind if I ask what you do for exercise? I really struggle with finding what works for me
I just do really basic vertical reps with tiny 5lbs weights, I'm trying to build back upper body strength, not much but y'know...
Yeah, I can relate in a sense. Sometimes, because I've come to expect to be dehumanised as soon as I mention that I'm autistic, I just say that I'm disabled if I'm just trying to convey that I'm having trouble with something relevant. The responses of disbilief I've gotten from people are very telling - if you look "normal" enough then you're just faking and being lazy, and are probably a benefit scrounger to boot.
The way I've dealt with it... well it's kinda hard to treat the symptoms of society as an individual, so mostly I just try to avoid people who are like that as a crude and unsatisfying solution. I just expect nothing from randoms - sometimes people get it, most of the time they don't unless they have first hand experience themselves. In spaces that will listen, I won't shut up about disability, but if it gets seen as me causing drama or that it's more trouble than it's worth, I don't have it in me to butt heads and I just fuck off.
As for personal relationships, I've internalised plenty of red flags from my various encounters that I'm looking out for. I barely have energy for myself, so it better be worth it if I'm building some kind of relationship with someone. Kinda hard to name specifics though I guess, that's the kinda thing this space is probably ok for - to unpack the ableist bullshit in your life as you're going through it with others who are doing the same
edit: spwlling
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From Mastering the Core Teachings of the Buddha: advice on reaching higher levels of awakening
Executive Dysfunction to Enlightenment pipeline?/hj
(It definitely sucks, but is low key insightful. Crazy NTs feel like they are “in control.”)
Wahoo! I got my ADHD diagnosis. Thank you @ReadFanon@hexbear.net for helping me collect my thoughts going in. I was still rambly and strange but I think that actually worked in my favor.
Why do I feel the need to be around someone who is angry at me? Like, I feel like I need their permission to leave so they'll stop yelling at me. I've been trapped dissociating before, unable to leave while someone screams at me about not buying them cigarettes or some other thing
Pretty severe fawn/freeze response. I'm not sure knowing the words has helped though, and my therapist says that I need to work on my alcoholism before anything else. Also, he completed ghosted me last session
my therapist says that I need to work on my alcoholism before anything else
not a therapist, but my understanding is that this is bad practice; because often addictions stem from other problems, refusing to work on the underlying issues at the same time is often ineffective/counterproductive.
he completed ghosted me last session
I am being driven mad by my autism once more. I ask my friend why they've done something, they say 'idk sorry.' I say it's not a problem, I'm trying to understand. They provide no actual explanation just tell me that if something is bothering me then I should tell them. It wasn't bothering me! What's bothering me is how you can do something regularly and when asked why you do it you just say 'idk'
Thanks for providing a place to air this frustration, I love you all
feel this very much. the way my questions get taken as a way to argue or express judgement instead of as a genuine attempt to understand is one of the most painful and frustrating parts of my everyday life.
even through carefully composed text, even here where so many people are also autistic
I genuinely hate conflict and don't like to argue; it's hard to express how upsetting it is to be misunderstood as argumentative regularly.
Neurotypical communication is so frustrating. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that... I also get misunderstood a lot, and it makes me want to give up on saying anything to anyone, because why bother if they're not going to understand it anyway...
same
for some strange reason, I keep waking up with the urge to try again! 🙃🤦
How are my disabled comrades doing?
It's already getting dark and I'm still in bed and haven't eaten anything other than a coffee... Should get on that soon I guess instead of incessantly posting
Mood. My pain levels have been manageable these last few weeks, but it's always the paranoia of setting them off. It creates a really bad feedback loop of not wanting to do anything, then not being in the condition to do anything, causing you to not want to do anything.
Doing things is so fucking hard... I'm glad you're getting a bit of reprieve from the pain at least <3
