He turns on news. They are replaying the press conference for the nth time. "I, President Jesus Christ, have returned from space to become the CEO of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints effective immediately..."
"Oh, fffff— fiddlesticks.
"Fiddlesticks is right. We're fiddlesticks'd. I was about to buy that condo in Vail."
"How about me? The addition to my house is only one-third done."
"But I thought the money came from—"
"You know where the money came from."
"Oh, right. Do you think he's going to ask for an immediate audit?"
"No."
"No?"
"No. You're not thinking clearly at all. He already knows. Son of God. Hello? Anybody home."
![[Not the Onion] Nobel Prize winning economist says Bidenomics is working if you exclude food, energy, shelter, and used cars.](https://hexbear.net/pictrs/image/056e2b2f-c3f7-43b4-84ae-511a72338a87.png){kind=link}
Church elder #1 calls Church elder #2.
"You don't know - do you? Turn on the news."
"What channel?"
"Any channel."
He turns on news. They are replaying the press conference for the nth time. "I, President Jesus Christ, have returned from space to become the CEO of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints effective immediately..."
"Oh, fffff— fiddlesticks.
"Fiddlesticks is right. We're fiddlesticks'd. I was about to buy that condo in Vail."
"How about me? The addition to my house is only one-third done."
"But I thought the money came from—"
"You know where the money came from."
"Oh, right. Do you think he's going to ask for an immediate audit?"
"No."
"No?"
"No. You're not thinking clearly at all. He already knows. Son of God. Hello? Anybody home."
"Oh my."