• @henfredemars@infosec.pub
    hexbear
    32
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    Wait until you learn about emotional support trucks:

    • Tires: mud knobs with shiny untouched rims
    • Body: lifted and oversized
    • Headlamps: blinding LEDs at eye level
    • Safety: invisible pedestrians
    • Bed: pristine
    • Economy: gallons to the mile
    • Your ass: ridden

    Topped off with muddy, fart machine sounds coming from their distorted overdriven bass. They spend the whole drive giggling. I'm not sure if it's from the toddler sense of humor at the fart noises or the plausible deniability when running over a cyclist.

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
      hexbear
      7
      7 months ago

      Topped off with muddy, fart machine sounds coming from their distorted overdriven bass.

      My chuddiest current neighbor has modified a golf cart to carry massive subwoofers and he rolls up and down the street blasting dadrock out with floor-shaking bass while making this actual face the whole time while looking to the side at every house he's puttering by grillman

  • cosecantphi [he/him]
    hexbear
    25
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    Even worse is driving one of those fuck off expensive luxury cars. Like whenever I see a lambo or some shit on the highway I legitimately feel embarrassed for the driver. The bright coloring and distinctive shape makes them literally look like oversized children's toys. They practically scream to everyone else on the road "hey look at me! look how rich I am!". It's a shame rich people have all the fucking money in the world, they are shit at spending it.

    • RNAi [he/him]
      hexagon
      hexbear
      13
      7 months ago

      But don't you looney commie understand they are creating jobs for the luxury-cars makers? :so-true:

      • cosecantphi [he/him]
        hexbear
        13
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        Maybe next time I see one in a parking lot I'll key the shit out of it and smash a window, increase job security for auto shop workers by giving them some business

    • RNAi [he/him]
      hexagon
      hexbear
      25
      7 months ago

      Imagining an hexbear kicking the pedals instead of pressing them "fucking cars why people even like to drive them"

        • @personalthought381@lemm.ee
          hexbear
          4
          7 months ago

          Unrelated but I keep seeing this here so have to ask- why do you use sweaty instead of ,y'know, sweety? Like did you unironically called him full of sweat or is this a spelling thing that I'm anaware of? I feel like I am going insane.

          • RNAi [he/him]
            hexagon
            hexbear
            3
            edit-2
            7 months ago

            It's an ironic mispelling referencing the passive-agressive maybe-later-kiddo

        • RNAi [he/him]
          hexagon
          hexbear
          4
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          And I'm shit at any instrument, but it's important you learn to drive cuz the technicals won't drive themselves emergencies

  • culpritus [any]
    hexbear
    15
    7 months ago

    The most overbuilt baby strollers in the world.

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
    hexbear
    6
    7 months ago

    BUT YOU CAN HAVE A BAZINGA YOKE INSTEAD AND SPIN IT AROUND REALLY AWKWARDLY BECAUSE KING BAZINGA THOUGHT IT WOULD LOOK EPIC so-true