Solidarity comrade. I'll never know what it's like to be in your shoes, but I have a brother who shares similar experiences. I am almost amused by your openness about it. It is really cool that you are comfortable talking about your experiences. I'm sure it helps other people who feel like they need to keep it in a box.

If you need to talk you can dm me comrade, I've had those meltdowns and they're never fun, but it's okay that they happen sometimes :)