As in, I seem to always flub them somehow and I’m trying to get better. But I usually don’t have too much trouble once I’m “in” the conversation. Any tips?
I am the most successful when I leave without saying anything or just don’t greet, but that doesn’t reflect well on me
Right there with you. My strategy is essentially to just repeat what the other person says with some simple response to any question. I'm also known to briefly nod reverently and say "well, looks like it's about time for me to go" when I need to leave and can't easily leave unannounced.
I will workshop a few different strategies with older people in my org (so I’m not embarrassed) and report back
As far as goodbyes go, it's not so much that I have trouble with them as that I basically can't do them at all. I just have to wait until the other person decides they want to leave and until then I'm trapped. I have a friend who's really good at leaving and has been known to slip out unannounced, but having been raised in a culture where you have to greet every single person when you arrive and say goodbye to every single person when you leave I'm constitutionally unable to do so.
For greetings, I don't think my verbal greetings are that bad (not great, but passable), but the physical aspect can cause a lot of stress.
- Hugs? Awesome!
- Bowing (e.g. amongst Japanese/Koreans)? Easy peasy!
- Handshakes? Oh fuck, how strong am I supposed to grip? My hands are always clammy! Can I stop yet? I hope I don't gross this person out.
- Cheek kissing? I already don't like regular kissing, but now there's this awkward air version of it where I never feel like I've got the placement right.
- Daps? Why are we taking handshakes (already suck), adding a highly dynamic component that differs from group-to-group (none of which I'm clued into), and then adding this half-assed half-hug with back taps? Just gimme a hug! Failing this one has the added bonus of making you look extremely uncool.
In my second decree as Supreme Leader of Earth (following my sit-pissing requirement), I will mandate that all greetings are either no contact (bows, waves) or full contact (hugs) and dispense with this ambiguity once and for all.
