As in, I seem to always flub them somehow and I’m trying to get better. But I usually don’t have too much trouble once I’m “in” the conversation. Any tips?

I am the most successful when I leave without saying anything or just don’t greet, but that doesn’t reflect well on me

  • AernaLingus [any]
    ·
    10 months ago

    As far as goodbyes go, it's not so much that I have trouble with them as that I basically can't do them at all. I just have to wait until the other person decides they want to leave and until then I'm trapped. I have a friend who's really good at leaving and has been known to slip out unannounced, but having been raised in a culture where you have to greet every single person when you arrive and say goodbye to every single person when you leave I'm constitutionally unable to do so.

    For greetings, I don't think my verbal greetings are that bad (not great, but passable), but the physical aspect can cause a lot of stress.

    • Hugs? Awesome!
    • Bowing (e.g. amongst Japanese/Koreans)? Easy peasy!

     

    • Handshakes? Oh fuck, how strong am I supposed to grip? My hands are always clammy! Can I stop yet? I hope I don't gross this person out.
    • Cheek kissing? I already don't like regular kissing, but now there's this awkward air version of it where I never feel like I've got the placement right.
    • Daps? Why are we taking handshakes (already suck), adding a highly dynamic component that differs from group-to-group (none of which I'm clued into), and then adding this half-assed half-hug with back taps? Just gimme a hug! Failing this one has the added bonus of making you look extremely uncool.

    In my second decree as Supreme Leader of Earth (following my sit-pissing requirement), I will mandate that all greetings are either no contact (bows, waves) or full contact (hugs) and dispense with this ambiguity once and for all.