But I’m proud of my friends, many of them are working their way towards SOMETHING. I’ve cut off so many over the years because they just kinda drifted about, falling into things. Most of them were high school friends, so good riddance really.
Right now a small fire is getting reignited for something I used to care so much about, and frankly it’s goddamn great to feel that. My previous pursuit was kind of a failure because I didnt get proper mentorship for much of it, but those few moments I did stuck with me so well and I’m getting to pass that on.
I’ve booked some photography gigs in the summer, really excited about that, because nerves, stress, and panic kept me from moving forward with that. Real excited to now take my vocation seriously.
About the last thing to talk about is romance, which not a lot to talk about because i wasnt much of an active dater before covid. It’s been longer since I’ve been out of a relationship than i’ve been in my last one by about 2 years. I’ve got a lot of what I wanted changed since then, and I’m in a far better place, so it’s time I get back out there. I look back on dates and wonder “so was this date a flop cause I’m demi, or because of depression?” cause I’ve been with a date who told me she couldnt tell I was into her for the first hour or so (i was, i just wasnt touching her)
Reading back that just feels like I’m caught up on some anxiety.
Ultimately i have to remember that a part of what I’m reconnecting with has a social element to it. Maybe that’s a part of what i miss and was missing?
In some parts, eh.
But I’m proud of my friends, many of them are working their way towards SOMETHING. I’ve cut off so many over the years because they just kinda drifted about, falling into things. Most of them were high school friends, so good riddance really.
Right now a small fire is getting reignited for something I used to care so much about, and frankly it’s goddamn great to feel that. My previous pursuit was kind of a failure because I didnt get proper mentorship for much of it, but those few moments I did stuck with me so well and I’m getting to pass that on.
I’ve booked some photography gigs in the summer, really excited about that, because nerves, stress, and panic kept me from moving forward with that. Real excited to now take my vocation seriously.
About the last thing to talk about is romance, which not a lot to talk about because i wasnt much of an active dater before covid. It’s been longer since I’ve been out of a relationship than i’ve been in my last one by about 2 years. I’ve got a lot of what I wanted changed since then, and I’m in a far better place, so it’s time I get back out there. I look back on dates and wonder “so was this date a flop cause I’m demi, or because of depression?” cause I’ve been with a date who told me she couldnt tell I was into her for the first hour or so (i was, i just wasnt touching her)
Reading back that just feels like I’m caught up on some anxiety.
Having motivation and some forward momentum in something you care about is so freakin' good!
Ultimately i have to remember that a part of what I’m reconnecting with has a social element to it. Maybe that’s a part of what i miss and was missing?