I know, two posts in one community in the span of 24 hours is a lot, perhaps irritating but I have a lot of problems.
You may not have seen my last post, but I have severe OCD and Depression.
I have trouble not touching people. Whether it's messing around with my brothers or just being touchy. I've had two people in the span of two days tell me to stop touching them and it's increasingly awkward and embarrassing. Ironically I myself hate being touched by anything or anyone and have haphephobia.
I need to stop fucking touching people. Does anybody else do this or know any ways to prevent it?
Again, I'm really sorry for posting twice in one day, it's rather odd.
❤️ I'm also in the "you can't post too much" crowd, you're doing fine. 🤗
As far as the touching tendencies - this is a really interesting question to me because it made me realize that I also mostly hate being touched yet behave overly familiar in that way sometimes.
I don't have an action plan, but maybe we can come up with one together if we examine this impulse?
With that purpose in mind, it seems logical to maybe start with the troublesome actions and consider what they result from. What feelings or thoughts usually make this happen for you?
For me, it's a surprising intensity of feeling - shock or sadness or anger or whatever. Something somebody says makes me feel more than I expected, and physical touch gets added to the wildly animated face and voice. I have to work to not be one of those annoying people who slaps your arm screaming "OH MY GOD WHYYYYY" when you mention that you slept with your super hot but vaguely evil ex again last week.
Thinking a lot about it while reading your post and writing this (I keep taking pauses to get on with my morning routine but keep getting drawn back in and return to typing!), I'm remembering how much I was forced to allow other people to touch me as a kid... And adding that on to the heavy masking that I do, I'm wondering if this touching tendency is another part of the mask? Maybe that "let them touch you" training I received as a child somehow went past the "let it happen" idea straight into "you should be doing this too" ??
Idk. I'm super interested in your thoughts on this, though, and I really appreciate the thread. You're looking for answers that I need, too.
Thank you so much, comrade!
I would absolutely love to come up with an action plan together, that'd be wonderful!
I'd say it's also intensity of feeling for me as well. If my brother messes around with me, even if it starts out in word fights I'm usually the one to escalate it into physicality. I'm young and don't have many friends outside my family so I don't frequently have conversations like the one you exemplified, but yesterday I was "fighting" with my brother and I guess he thought the interaction was over but I continued to agitate him by touching him I guess. I pinched his arm and he got irritated and told me "Stop touching me, and get out." I felt embarrassed and did so.
And, oh my lord I did the exact same thing as a child. When I was maybe 7--9 I hated being touched by other kids, even by my friends. I fell down at recess A LOT. I vividly remember as a child at parent conferences my mother would be talking to the teacher and I'd be next to her and she'd put her arm on my shoulder (you know, how parents do.) and It'd make me want to crawl out of my skin so I'd inch away quietly. As I grew up I still didn't like being touched, but started touching people slowly. like hugging my family or patting my brother on the back, yet flinch and walk away when they try to do the same to me.
I would absolutely be so happy to make a "strategy" I guess, and learn why this happens, I was so happy that someone related to this!
It sounds like we both overreacted to being forced to let other people touch us and somehow got "TOUCH EVERYONE" as the lesson 😂🤦
I'm going to have to do some thinking, because I don't have any ideas for what to do about it. Having some idea about why we do it seems like a good first step to stopping, though, so I feel like we're on a good path!
I totally agree! We're definitely on the right track!