Was I just stupid kid in the Midwest wrapped up in propaganda and a family history? How could I not fucking see what really was going on and what we do to the people of the countries we go to? Everything I wanted to be as a kid was based on fucking lies and the profits of the military industrial complex. What the fuck was the point of my deployments if not to oppress others? How can people fucking support these wars and invasions? In the name of protecting our freedoms while stripping away others? I fucking hate myself and wish I could take it away, but without it I wouldn’t be a communist and I wouldn’t have experience colonialism and imperialism first hand on the side of the oppressors. Fucking fuck.
and now you aren't, and that's what matters far more. lot of people done a lot of things they're not proud of, but letting go, growing past, and making up for that where needs be is more than possible and far healthier than holding onto that guilt
:heart-sickle: