The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love is a book by bell hooks about men, patriarchy, the relationship between them, and most importantly love. There is no need to pick up a copy, comrade Sen has already uploaded the entire audiobook onto Youtube. Content warnings are generously provided by Sen at the start of each chapter. This time we are doing chapters 2 & 3. Each chapter is only about 30 minutes long, so it's not a long commitment. Let me know if two chapters a week is too much or if I should change the format.

Discuss-

-What stood out to you about this chapter?
-Are there any ideas that bell hooks introduces in this chapter that you've never heard of or wish you had heard earlier in your life?
-Are there any stories in this chapter that resonate with you on a personal level?

Previous Chapter 1 discussion

  • D61 [any]
    ·
    7 months ago

    So far, the author is mostly just discussing how boys and men are socialized. Starting out as children who get to have some agency in how they show their emotions and who they show them too ... and then having that stomped out by all facets of a patriarchal society until the child moves into boyhood and then manhood having learned that showing emotions other than lust and anger are unacceptable. Being allowed to talk and ask questions as a child but as a man a major method of communication becomes various forms of violence towards ... well everybody. And if you're a guy/masc and those options are too uncomfortable for you, there is always the fallback of just shutting down outward signs of emotion and communication with other people.

    • HexaSnoot [none/use name]
      ·
      7 months ago

      Shit. This must contribute to why the only comfortable way I've found to express my masculinity is mens' clothes. My masculine expression feels lacking, but I don't know what else to turn to. I don't care for voicework and I can't think of anything else.

      • D61 [any]
        ·
        7 months ago

        My masculine expression feels lacking

        That feeling, if I'm understanding bell hooks in this work, is a default position of man/masculinity in a bunch of western society. So... congratulations! You're successfully being masculine! sans-wink