Seriously...as a parent I feel like I'm constantly stressed out on finding the right words and approaches to reinforce the right things but sometimes articles from "the experts":
https://archive.is/yP0yu
Just make me seethe with contempt for how out of touch and frankly awful some parenting gurus are.
Its not all bad to be fair. I agree with number 2 and teaching kids how to recognize their own emotions and think empathetically but then there's shit like number 3:
Furthermore, complaining about your job around your kids teaches them that work isn’t fun. As a result, they may grow up believing that adulthood is about spending half of your waking hours in complete misery.
Oh, well we can't have that can we? Oh no junior, I swear daddy definitely loves clocking in at 6am and answering emails and crunching numbers rather then going outside to play basketball with you or build that new lego set. What, you're grown up now and you hate your job and the way it makes you feel incredibly alienated in a way you never could have imagined? You just need to work on your attitude! Fuck that noise!
Even number 4, which I agree is good in practice, is arrived at for the wrong reasons. Its not about teaching kids some nonsense about being the sole arbiter and decision maker in charge of your life. Its about reinforcing the responsibilities and obligations you have to one another, whether that's doing work or going to help grandma get some things down from the attic, or getting groceries for the week at the store.
In a few years I genuinely hope we evolve to the point of realizing that teaching our children neoliberal mindset is its own form of abuse.
Her reasoning is incredibly revealing also! At first it seems contradictory to her previous rules because if you're not supposed to say that to prepare them for the fact that life isn't disney fairytell bullshit and that there are always stumbling blocks then why the fuck are you sugar coating work and discussions on adult responsibilities!?!?!?
But then rereading it I realized: you're not supposed to say "everything will be ok" because that gives them a complacent mindset. They gotta learn to work harder and hustle!!!
That’s horrifying. I’ve heard a similar rule about just being honest with your feelings. Like you’re going to be hurt in front of your kids and you’re going to cry in front of your kids a couple times. It’s fine to admit that you’re hurt. I think it’s also okay to comfort your kids sometimes even when you’re unsure. But that’s just teaching them basic coping skills. How do these people everything into absolute rules for the sake of raising complacent workers