I've tried to "be normal" and fit in for the past 9 years of my life in an ocean of children from bourgeois immigrant families, the most insufferable flaccid energy, cabbage for brains STEM bros called Stanford/MIT/Berkeley students, and carbon copy clones of elite Silicon Valley coders so predictable it's like they're all Nano Puff jackets from the same Patagonia factory and it's caused irreparable damage to my personality and thought patterns

It's ironic that all they do is type 0s and 1s into text files on their computers all day yet they're all fucking 0s. As in Zero chance of avoiding the Wall. Zero chance of redemption. I will re-educate these pickle-ball playing pickle-dick pickles so thoroughly historians will call it the fucking HoloKafka (Streams)

If I was in a room with Hitler, Churchill, Bush, Zuckerberg, a random Google coder, and a gun with 2 bullets in my hand, I'd shoot the coder's index finger off so they can't rock climb any routes harder than a V2 anymore and then

CW: non serious self harm

blow my brains out through the roof of my mouth so I don't have to be subjected to this mind poison anymore


This nightmare labyrinth of tech companies is like Scandinavia, where all of its residents are smug bourgeois-proletariats completely drunk on the social democrat lifestyle and benefits but instead of being trapped by artificial human inventions like "borders", I'm trapped by equally dumb bullshit called "shit healthcare", "ever increasing rent prices", and "being born to factory workers instead of wealthy doctors"

You wanna know how I got these scars? After my co-worker said it was a good thing his teammate got laid off and deserved it because he was a slow coder, I bashed his nerd skull into his mechanical keyboard over and over till he was throwing up Soylent and La Croix and accidentally cut my hand on the MX Cherry Red key caps while doing so

  • Yurt_Owl
    ·
    1 year ago

    Ah yes my field. I spent like a solid decade thinking I was the crazy one. So many smug arrogant assholes that think they're the peak of humanity.

    Anyway I wrote a script that types out code from a random repo to keep my computer showing as active and then i just nap all day.

    • daisy
      ·
      1 year ago

      I don't trust the competence of any programmer who isn't able to secretly automate the bulk of their job.

  • GaveUp [she/her]
    hexagon
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    If you understood all the references in this post, I'll see you in hell for all the digital damage you're inflicting on society

  • ShimmeringKoi [comrade/them]
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    I'm unironically so much happier as a wild-haired communist doom prophet who makes their own clothes than I ever was trying to be "normal". At least this way I get to feel what I actually feel.

  • BeamBrain [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    Why would I want to be "normal" when "normal" is what got us here in the first place

  • drearymoon
    ·
    edit-2
    1 year ago

    deleted by creator

  • FourteenEyes [he/him]
    ·
    1 year ago

    I don't want to be normal I want to find other people who are just as weird as me so we can go around freaking out the normies together

    Sadly I'm alone because I'm so fucking weird

    • Saeculum [he/him, comrade/them]
      ·
      1 year ago

      I don't want to be normal I want to find other people who are just as weird as me

      Won't that just make you comparatively normal?

      • FourteenEyes [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        For our group of weirdos sure

        not to the general populace (boring squares)

    • daisy
      ·
      1 year ago

      I find it hard to hate on pickle ball. I have an uncle with various physical challenges but he's able to get out and play pickle ball OK. It's nice to see him doing something physical and social.

    • GaveUp [she/her]
      hexagon
      ·
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      Tech bros mostly only do skiing, tennis, golf, rock climbing, volleyball, badminton, and recently, pickleball as sports

      • blakeus12 [he/him]
        ·
        1 year ago

        as a skier, yeah. 98% of people i have talked to on the slopes are exactly like your post

    • Adkml [he/him]
      ·
      1 year ago

      Because it's fun for the same reason as every other raquette sport but with a lower barrier for entry.

      Shitting on pickle ball would have been Dennis learrys opening bit if he was still writing material today.