loneliness is and abstract feeling, so it takes weird shapes in people's lives. Most emotions have a direct and recognizable source, you get angry because you hurt yourself stubbing your toe, you feel sad because your kids don't want to open up to you, you feel happy ranges are half off. loneliness doesn't track as nicely because it doesn't come from an event but a series of lack of events. You have a lonely day that's one things, you can just say "no one came by today, that's why I feel lonely." But when you see people, maybe just at the store or at work, and keep not connecting to them, that's not something you can see as easily, but steadily builds up over time. Some people get hobbies to fill that empty time in their life, and hopefully they make friends through that. Some just get married and have kids so there are people and things in their lives. And then some people fall down a horrible rabbit hole and end up decoding Q messages or reading the turner diaries. Now they have a community and anger in place of that horrible void. It hurts, it drives whatever friends and family they once had further away, but its all they can conceive of doing. This is all just some armchair thinking, so take it or leave it if you like, but it's what I believe is going on and it just makes me sad.

and some white people just think there's a conspiracy because their wildest dreams haven't been met while they sit on daddy's payroll.