Honestly if the hatred itself isn’t negatively affecting your life I don’t think it’s your job to fight resentment. Just listening to the amount of situational vigilance that women and femme people need to have on a near constant basis is enough for me to not feel bad about getting stereotyped sometimes.
My safety will rarely if ever depend on being able to size people up quickly, so I don’t think I’m in a position judge the people for whom it does. A lot of guys get offended at this because they’ve literally done less consideration of their own capacity for violence than the stranger meeting them has. So like... who are you trying to stop hating for? If it’s a “drinking a poison and hoping your enemy dies” sort of thing or if it’s unprocessed trauma, then I can understand that. But otherwise those are all valid things to be upset about and the extent to which it’s a problem is situational based on how it’s affecting important relationships in your life
Yeah I’ve definitely struggled with that. It helped to sort out what bits of my own masculinity gave me joy. A lot of it is stuff that isn’t inherently gendered, but it’s stuff that I gender on myself. I really like having a beard. I really like doing handiwork for people. I really like my broad shoulders. Other stuff I’ve had to decouple from more toxic aspects. Like I enjoy being able to keep my emotions in check in order to put other people’s needs before my own. Obviously there are a lot of ways that tends to lead to toxicity, especially in men, but I like being able to bust it out when I need it and not having it be my only coping mechanism. And then I’ve been tossing out stuff I don’t like. I can’t fucking stand how boring men’s clothing is so a lot of stuff I’ve been buying lately is more gender-neutral women’s clothing. I can’t stand the constant pressure to be still. I dance a lot more now. It’s all pretty personal but I hope the examples help
Toxic masculinity, past experiences, 80% of violent crime, media made by men depicting women, online interactions, myself, basically everyrhing
Honestly if the hatred itself isn’t negatively affecting your life I don’t think it’s your job to fight resentment. Just listening to the amount of situational vigilance that women and femme people need to have on a near constant basis is enough for me to not feel bad about getting stereotyped sometimes.
My safety will rarely if ever depend on being able to size people up quickly, so I don’t think I’m in a position judge the people for whom it does. A lot of guys get offended at this because they’ve literally done less consideration of their own capacity for violence than the stranger meeting them has. So like... who are you trying to stop hating for? If it’s a “drinking a poison and hoping your enemy dies” sort of thing or if it’s unprocessed trauma, then I can understand that. But otherwise those are all valid things to be upset about and the extent to which it’s a problem is situational based on how it’s affecting important relationships in your life
It's because I'm stuck being the same category as all of those people for the rest of my life, if that's the case then I don't want to be at all
Yeah I’ve definitely struggled with that. It helped to sort out what bits of my own masculinity gave me joy. A lot of it is stuff that isn’t inherently gendered, but it’s stuff that I gender on myself. I really like having a beard. I really like doing handiwork for people. I really like my broad shoulders. Other stuff I’ve had to decouple from more toxic aspects. Like I enjoy being able to keep my emotions in check in order to put other people’s needs before my own. Obviously there are a lot of ways that tends to lead to toxicity, especially in men, but I like being able to bust it out when I need it and not having it be my only coping mechanism. And then I’ve been tossing out stuff I don’t like. I can’t fucking stand how boring men’s clothing is so a lot of stuff I’ve been buying lately is more gender-neutral women’s clothing. I can’t stand the constant pressure to be still. I dance a lot more now. It’s all pretty personal but I hope the examples help
Women's clothes are way more comfortable, at least the casual stuff. I love just hanging around the house in a soft dress.