I'd like to extend an invitation to you dirty communists. An invitation to bring back the soul of America. Now, I can't have you being communists, that's not bipartisan. It's time to give up your evil ways and be delicious chicken shaving Americans. You have to start at the wattle, Jack, the wattle!

I remember when my dad taught me how to shave a good chicken he said son, you have to massage the comb and start at the wattle. He's dead now but he knows how to massage a comb.

I don't want to offend anyone here but back in my day we know how to shamble, none of this hanky panky with the reds. None of this doing the twist with Stalin.

Listen, I'm tired now. Stop talking.