We’ve all wondered the bizarre placement of Sandy the Squirrel but as weird as the show is, we just accept her being since she fits in with the rest of the weirdness that makes up the entirety of Bikini Bottom. Sandy is a “Texan” Squirrel priding herself on where she is from, changing her personality of a kind and loving person to for lack of a better word, a beast when her hometown is ridiculed by Spongebob and Patrick. It’s safe to assume Sandy represents the nationalist and patriotic nature of many Americans, but where did she get this attitude from? Why is Sandy sporting a suit reminiscent of the same suits worn by astronauts?

The theory splinters when thinking too much into it. Of course explanations can always diverge into more sinister happenings that occurred before the show even aired. In regards to the title, I will try to stay within this theory of the astronaut animals and the story which took place before her first airing in the show.

The Astronaut Animals were not a part of NASA but instead a part of a private company based in southern Florida. The companies name unknown but their mission or missions leading up to their magnum opus was the facilitating and abusive testing on various creatures that did not belong in the depths of the sea. These animals who were tested on were subject to harsh conditions. Firstly, the animals were bread within these same laboratories, being separated from their mothers and siblings and forced to live in isolation until the moment of their duty. Focusing on this lab, I think here we can unlock some of Sandy’s trauma, Sandy was a lone squirrel barely even a month old. Alone, cold, in a dark cage with the sounds of an assortment of animals crying and howling looking for ways out. Sandy didn’t have a voice to yell out or to scream, instead Sandy was an observer, a keen learner she was a very smart animal who showed more emotion over animals from the outside world. This is because some subjects were genetically modified before birth to obtain a human level of consciousness, it’s like CRISPR, well let’s just assume the technology was present.

Sandy spent days in her cage, observing everything and getting to know herself and her being. She asked things like who am I where am I what is my purpose. Unbeknownst to her she was part of a much larger operation but since Sandy was just an infant, she did not understand the idea of destruction but when the time was right, she would learn. As the feelings of depression grew, Sandy’s mind started searching for anything to make life bearable, so she started listening to the figures in white overalls, these were the lab workers, one that stood out to her was a voice with a particular tone, an accent? A Texan. Sandy grew to admire this one voice and I’m a few weeks she had learned English, a language foreign from animal tongue, but Sandy was no ordinary critter as explained before, she was genetically modified which allowed her consciousness to grow exponentially, a product of something that shouldn’t have been, a product which goes against nature itself.

In a few days Sandy began using her vocal chords to utter out the same sounds she heard from that one lab tech, it took weeks for her to fully develop the ability to speak, albeit a bit rough and inaudible, but she got there eventually. She thought to herself, maybe this is why I’m here, maybe I should make them proud by using my voice. And that’s what she did, she used her voice. Something she thought would bring her closer to those in white, those faceless creatures with glazed eyes, played out differently. Sandy didn’t learn cruelty, all she knew was her cage, her voice, her overbearing consciousness and the person in white with the soothing accent. When this same person walked past, Sandy thought she would use her voice to communicate, and she did. When the lab tech walked past she used her speech, something she probably wishes she hadn’t. It was at this moment that she felt the voice was communicating back but instead a human hand grabbed her and relocated her to another facility. This time the cage was bigger and its occupants were very different to her but in the same faith, they all spoke the same tongue. These animals were the talkers, the only ones who survived long enough to gain a higher consciousness and being able to learn the way humans do. Sandy although closer to others felt much more distant, the animals in this cage were not like her, a frog, a toad, a hedgehog, a bird, a rat, a hamster. These creatures were like monsters in her eyes, she quickly learned the fear but the animals with no hatred in their hearts saw that she was under stress so they welcomed her with open arms.

Weeks passed and Sandy grew to love her new friends, they were all lovely creatures who were all living the same hell. They would all discuss why they looked like they did, learning more about themselves with each passing day, why some had soft slimy skin and needed water baths, and others long tails, and one could reach the top of the cage and flutter around. It was amazing and awesome in her eyes. They could all communicate with one another yet they were so different on the outside, but that didn’t matter because what they all had in common was a love for one another. Froggy was like a mentor for Sandy, Froggy had learned of the outside world and tells Sandy a tale of when he was just a tadpole. “A frail little thing I was, swimming aimlessly in circles, many others like me but they soon perished and drifted down to the bottom. The water got so thick with the stench of my dead siblings, unable to breathe, I could taste the rot. So I decided to leap out of the waters and became this”. Froggy had a hatred for himself and was disgusted with his entire being. I think it was the trauma or the association with “escaping” when all his hundreds of brothers and sisters all died. Froggy hated himself because he was the only one to leap out of the water. It was the guilt that he learned but it wasn’t his fault, he was just unlucky, as were they all. For the day came that they were placed in separate chambers but still being close enough to communicate.

And so it began, one by one each critter was picked out and taken away. Each critter not knowing where they were going or what would happen to them. Sandy learned the fear, and the sadness for her family. Froggy called over to Sandy and with his tongue he threw something into her cage. It was a pink flower 🌸 Froggy was growing this flower in his water pool and it gave him hope that something beautiful could be born out of something chaotic. “This flower is like you. The same day you came to our cage, the flower sprouted and for the first time in my life I had seen a color so beautiful it filled me with an immense happiness. I believe that it was you that made this flower grow, it belongs to you now”. Those were Froggy’s last words until he was taken away never to be seen again.

Sandy was alone again, back to where she started. The depression grew with each passing day until it was her day to be taken away. She hoped she would see Froggy one last time but instead she was shoved into an ill fitting suit with a glass orb crammed onto her soft head. A few paces later she was shoved into a container and with a few clanks and clings of metal she was locked in place. Darkness all around her, a pungent smell that made her dizzy, it was horrible.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 launch

The loudest sound she had ever experienced vibrated all throughout her body, a constant wave of loudness and then an intense rumbling. Clambering around this tin can, Sandy opens her eyes and sees sky for the first time. White clouds then turned to blue, an amazing sight but one instilled with the fear of unknowing. And then the vibrating stopped yet the blue carried on, Sandy thought it was over until she became inverted. She was now in free fall down and down each second feeling faster than the last, she couldn’t take it and she fainted.

What happened here was Sandy was launched into the stratosphere which would then dive back down into the sea. The test subjects were only alive to launch into space and then back to the sea, the goal was to observe of life could survive a crash back down to the sea, as these ships were designed to launch into space but also be able to land safely in waters as it was possibly testing for a mission where humans would land on a watery planet. The ship was shaped like a javelin, a point on the top and one at the bottom, so it could shoot past the skies and shoot into waters and eventually plant itself on the bottom of the sea.

But Sandy wasn’t on another planet, it was still earth but it was an entirely different world to the one above. Sandy regained consciousness and observed her surroundings. Bubbles formed on the viewing slot, she looks around and sees in bold red letters the word PULL. And that’s what she did, she pulled down on a contraption and was flung out, she landed hard on the sand and observed her surroundings. She was now entirely under water, around 200 feet. The suns rays pierced the waters and lit up the environment, sands, corals, fish, an array of vibrant colors. Her movements were slow, because water is very viscous, one step at a time she walked leaving imprints in the sands beneath her feet. She fell after she tripped up on a flounder that she accidentally stepped on. Falling face first into the sand, the area was clouded for a moment. Sandy opens her eyes to see a flower in her suit. The flower her dear friend and given her before his departure. She remembers Froggy and wishes he was there to experience this land with her and to see the colors and deep sea flowers together.

But the reality is Froggy never made it safely down. His ship had entered the sea at a bad angle and it was destroyed on impact.