it's weird to me when people insist on broadcasting their Dealbreakers™ (© Shinehardy Wig Company), as though they are getting such a great volume of romantic offers that their evaluation system has become overwhelmed and they need applicants to self-select.

anyway, if you don't remember where you were when the Challenger exploded, I will not be coming to dinner to meet your parents. I will be hotboxing in the Panda Express parking lot, just text me when they're gone so I can come over.