As a cishet man I think that masculinity is kind of a goofy idea anyway, and I don't get wrapped around the axel trying to perform it. Although I would say that in my romantic relationships I play a more masculine role at least as I define it (I kind of like to dote on my partner, perform the "manly" tasks like fixing things, yard work, etc) but that's just what I feel comfortable doing. I think that anything another insecure "man" would try to make you feel guilty for doing/not doing isn't worth a second of thought anyway. Most of toxic masculinity is what we are conditioned to believe is necessary for us to do in order to thrive "as a man" by society, which is quite goofy and obviously a cargo-cult mentality.
I was taught a lot of bullshit about what it means to be a man, but I remember my father saying that it meant to "be a gentleman, make people feel comfortable and at ease when they're around you, be self-sacrificing" etc and I think I internalized that a lot. That doesn't necessarily mean that those things are purely masculine traits at all, but that's how I express my masculinity, if that makes sense... Idk.
TL;DR Just do what makes you comfortable, call it whatever you want it to be, make your own categories or ignore them entirely.
Well we are the worst executors of our own mental punishment at the end of the day, you know. But that's why we take SSRIs hahaha. I'm glad you found my advice helpful :shrek-mike:
As a cishet man I think that masculinity is kind of a goofy idea anyway, and I don't get wrapped around the axel trying to perform it. Although I would say that in my romantic relationships I play a more masculine role at least as I define it (I kind of like to dote on my partner, perform the "manly" tasks like fixing things, yard work, etc) but that's just what I feel comfortable doing. I think that anything another insecure "man" would try to make you feel guilty for doing/not doing isn't worth a second of thought anyway. Most of toxic masculinity is what we are conditioned to believe is necessary for us to do in order to thrive "as a man" by society, which is quite goofy and obviously a cargo-cult mentality.
I was taught a lot of bullshit about what it means to be a man, but I remember my father saying that it meant to "be a gentleman, make people feel comfortable and at ease when they're around you, be self-sacrificing" etc and I think I internalized that a lot. That doesn't necessarily mean that those things are purely masculine traits at all, but that's how I express my masculinity, if that makes sense... Idk.
TL;DR Just do what makes you comfortable, call it whatever you want it to be, make your own categories or ignore them entirely.
I'm the only one who does that to me tbh. Trying to work on it though.
Really good summed up advice, thanks
Well we are the worst executors of our own mental punishment at the end of the day, you know. But that's why we take SSRIs hahaha. I'm glad you found my advice helpful :shrek-mike: