I was already being neglected and coming from a broken home, but it was a strong contributor that alienated me from my peers.
what fucks me up is thinking I could have had a girlfriend for a little while in highschool but I got too much into posting on /mu/ and became an idiot elitist and basically kinda brushed off this not entirely unattractive girl in marching band who, while not exactly my type probably would have been a healthier use of my time than posting on fucking 4chan lmao
lmao I feel that last sentence, I think there's exactly one woman I had a crush on in high school who doesn't have a kid, and plus my on-again off-again girlfriend through college age (I was still highschool-brained) has one too I think, she's definitely married at least.
Honestly this whole thread has kind of made me realize that posting is the one constant in my entire life, no matter the forum or messageboard or whatever I was posting on and no matter how I felt about the subject matter. I don't feel good about it, but, I mean, I never really felt good about anything. That's why I spent my life posting.
Yeah, I've accepted it now. Some people were born to post. I've seen it even on relatively "normie" websites (like old hobby web 1.0 forums), there are a few posters there were you get the feeling where it was their calling.
I'm just going to keep posting. Maybe I'll find a wife who likes to post, too. It's not really likely, but at the end of the day, does it really matter? It makes me wonder to what exact extent I am an aberration versus just being a product of this particular historical moment along with other hordes of weird, lonely men posting incessantly as if their collective posts will one day converge into one James Joyce esque masterwork of surrealist poetry perfectly capturing the zeitgeist of the fully atomized internet age.
All of the old 1917 comrades were uber-posters. Lenin seriously needed to touch grass at times. Trotsky spent his whole life floating several inches above any vegetation, dictating who to own in the next Pravda edition.
hit the gym, develop a productive hobby (a creative pursuit is important to spiritual growth), read (both fiction and non-fiction), learn life skills that will be useful when/if society collapses, find a community (that isn't online) that you feel comfortable in and try to grow as a person, seek spiritual and personal growth over cheap distractions.
I used to waste my days online or playing games, and I was seriously depressed. it's hard when your down to ever imagine a way out, but it is possible. it's going to be a lot of work, and you will have bad days, but I believe in you comrade. change your life and live a life worth living
what fucks me up is thinking I could have had a girlfriend for a little while in highschool but I got too much into posting on /mu/ and became an idiot elitist and basically kinda brushed off this not entirely unattractive girl in marching band who, while not exactly my type probably would have been a healthier use of my time than posting on fucking 4chan lmao
did you at least get to show her Earth 2 - Special Low Frequency Version?
No, but we listened to BADBADNOTGOOD and Interpol while she had her head on my shoulder on a bus ride back from a parade
she's married with a kid now and I'm some deranged commie scum approaching wizard status so
lmao I feel that last sentence, I think there's exactly one woman I had a crush on in high school who doesn't have a kid, and plus my on-again off-again girlfriend through college age (I was still highschool-brained) has one too I think, she's definitely married at least.
Honestly this whole thread has kind of made me realize that posting is the one constant in my entire life, no matter the forum or messageboard or whatever I was posting on and no matter how I felt about the subject matter. I don't feel good about it, but, I mean, I never really felt good about anything. That's why I spent my life posting.
Yeah, I've accepted it now. Some people were born to post. I've seen it even on relatively "normie" websites (like old hobby web 1.0 forums), there are a few posters there were you get the feeling where it was their calling.
I'm just going to keep posting. Maybe I'll find a wife who likes to post, too. It's not really likely, but at the end of the day, does it really matter? It makes me wonder to what exact extent I am an aberration versus just being a product of this particular historical moment along with other hordes of weird, lonely men posting incessantly as if their collective posts will one day converge into one James Joyce esque masterwork of surrealist poetry perfectly capturing the zeitgeist of the fully atomized internet age.
All of the old 1917 comrades were uber-posters. Lenin seriously needed to touch grass at times. Trotsky spent his whole life floating several inches above any vegetation, dictating who to own in the next Pravda edition.
this might be the saddest thing I have ever read
What else am I s'posed to do
hit the gym, develop a productive hobby (a creative pursuit is important to spiritual growth), read (both fiction and non-fiction), learn life skills that will be useful when/if society collapses, find a community (that isn't online) that you feel comfortable in and try to grow as a person, seek spiritual and personal growth over cheap distractions.
I used to waste my days online or playing games, and I was seriously depressed. it's hard when your down to ever imagine a way out, but it is possible. it's going to be a lot of work, and you will have bad days, but I believe in you comrade. change your life and live a life worth living
:sadness: