Permanently Deleted

  • VeganVelveeta [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    man she started dating just suddenly trying to choke/insult/spit during sex without any warning

    Too many times. If you don't get consent for your kinks before doing them to someone, then what you did wasn't consensual. It's waaaay better to get consent before the pants come off in case that is a trigger for your partner. I've had men ask "can I choke you?" mid thrust and been able to enthusiastically say yes, but I'm also like that and told them that was cool earlier.

    Like it's good to be open minded, but to have an open mind someone has to fucking talk to you first.

    • NewAccountWhoDis [she/her]
      ·
      edit-2
      3 years ago

      Also during sex kind of blurs lines of consent. A stronger bigger man has you naked and vulnerable. The idea that a real consent can exist in a situation like this is pretty weak. Sexual boundaries should be done in a fair safe and neutral location where all members feel they are fully free to leave without any possibility of backlash or violence.

      Elsewise you risk issues with people saying yes, but only because they don't want you to go even further past that.

      • VeganVelveeta [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 years ago

        Yeah, I agree. I hesitated about including that even though I told him we could both ask as we went. I also already trusted him. It probably isn't a good idea for most women.