Humans haven't invented a new pantheistic religion for like, what, 3000 years? Well, I think that's a load of bullshit. We need to create a new one with some rad new gods.
The god I'm creating is called Blatphleuvious and they're a trickster god that is responsible for all the mischief animals do that annoys humans, like your dog farting in the car or a pigeon pooping on your head. Blatphleuvious makes that shit happen because he thinks it's hilarious and also to remind us that others aren't ours to control.
He has the shaggy head of a wild boar, and the body of a man wearing the clothes of an old babushka.
Please give me more ideas for gods. I demand it.
Frumtapious, the god of day drinking and wasting time, who was never into the whole idea of being a god and instead just sits around being a lazy bastard all day. He had power over something back in the day but he hasn't used it in millennia and neither he nor any mortal remembers what his powers were. He knows every board, card, and video game ever created and isn't good at any of them
Has been playing CS 1.6 since before the universe existed but never gets any better.
Seems like a dork but I'd hang out with him
Since he is a god, he can't die from alcohol poisoning, so his constant drinking has netted him an extraordinary alcohol tolerance that he has to ask some other god to reset every now and again. He's usually seen drinking out of a 24 oz. Hydroflask filled with Everclear, and chugging that only gets him somewhat buzzed.
Pretty chill guy though