Humans haven't invented a new pantheistic religion for like, what, 3000 years? Well, I think that's a load of bullshit. We need to create a new one with some rad new gods.
The god I'm creating is called Blatphleuvious and they're a trickster god that is responsible for all the mischief animals do that annoys humans, like your dog farting in the car or a pigeon pooping on your head. Blatphleuvious makes that shit happen because he thinks it's hilarious and also to remind us that others aren't ours to control.
He has the shaggy head of a wild boar, and the body of a man wearing the clothes of an old babushka.
Please give me more ideas for gods. I demand it.
Zzzkkk, god of Ideology, he creates new ideologys/philosophies and watches people fight over them.
Gestrocalphus, god of waiting rooms, airports and traffic. He appears as a hundred-armed, middle-aged, DMV worker. He does not answer prayers, but failure to pray to him results in terrible consequences.
Blatphleuvious II has the same features as Blatphleuvious but it has a backwards baseball cap on. Blatphleuvious II repeats everything Blatphleuvious says in a dumb guy voice.
I haven't got a name for it, but like some divine trickster that moves objects slightly when you aren't looking so that you bump into things and stub your toes. This entity does this to punish a perceived hubris in man. Its holy day is the 12 of November and you light a candle in its honour so to plead that it doesn't use the shortening of days to move more of your sharp things to shin height.
That fucker made me knock my elbow on my letterbox today :angery:
Pretty close to Anoia from Discworld if you toss in "things that getting stuck in drawers"
I'd completely forgot that bumping into things was also within Anoia's godly sphere. It's been years since I've read any Discworld books and was trying to aim for the kind of God the heroes dress as during the end of the last hero.
Frumtapious, the god of day drinking and wasting time, who was never into the whole idea of being a god and instead just sits around being a lazy bastard all day. He had power over something back in the day but he hasn't used it in millennia and neither he nor any mortal remembers what his powers were. He knows every board, card, and video game ever created and isn't good at any of them
Has been playing CS 1.6 since before the universe existed but never gets any better.
Since he is a god, he can't die from alcohol poisoning, so his constant drinking has netted him an extraordinary alcohol tolerance that he has to ask some other god to reset every now and again. He's usually seen drinking out of a 24 oz. Hydroflask filled with Everclear, and chugging that only gets him somewhat buzzed.
Pretty chill guy though
A god who’s followers are the people that don’t return shopping carts to the cart corral. Every time this is done the god grows slightly stronger and eventually they’ll emerge to usher in an age of nightmares. I call them Rollando, Lord of the Squeaky Wheel.
And his brother who is part boy, part car, Boycar, protector and king of Chilladelphia
That sounds awesome I wish I's thought of it :bird-screm1:
Deuleticus is the god of fucking with your memory, like when you walk into a room and forget what you were doing, when you can't remember the word you want to say, or when you're lying in bed at night and remember cringe stuff you did.
