-What do you think about the pet/parent analogies? Are you a dog mom? A cat dad? A platypus owned by a dirty owl? What’s your take?

spoiler

I fucking cringe when I’m referred to as my cat or dog’s “Dad”? Are you inferring that someone in my near family fucks animals? Or that I fuck animals? If I have to take a title, as per my relationship with my animals, it’d be “Custodial Thumb Haver”. I love them deeply and genuinely feel lucky to have them. But they aren’t my kids. Because I don’t have kids. We have a mutually beneficial and emotional relationships. I didn’t have to fuck a cat or dog to have that.

  • OldMole [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Calling your pet your son or daughter seems like such a 2015 thing, but instead of stopping, I think you should just take it a step weirder. Call them your actual human son, or a fruit of your loin, or something else gross like that.