Yeah, for that to properly work you have to viciously attack and disentangle why you want what you want, how toxic norms and the productive mode of capitalism influences what you have been told is good or bad behavior.

There’s a reason why self-improvement spaces are made up of exactly one type of guy: It’s all people struggling to meet up to the expectations instilled in them of exactly one type of successful person.

This is why I despise the term self-improvement. It implies improving oneself towards some sort of better norm. But what is better, in this case? Being happier? Sure, most people want to be happier, but part of life is feeling sad, and trying to will yourself happier, rather than changing the conditions that made you sad in the first place, is a recipe for disaster.

But that’s probably the most reasonable thing people “improve” towards. For most, I’d bet money that self-improvement is about becoming more of a “Gigachad”, becoming more attractive, becoming more productive, or emotionally castrating yourself so things don’t get to you as much. Not because they think those things will make them happier, but because that’s what success and improvement is to them. And, to be honest, what improvement is to most people.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean changing your habits or behaviors is some sort of impossible or inherently wrong activity, just that it should be done for a purpose someone arrives to while having the context for all of these things, and that’s my problem with the term self-improvement: It implies you’re improving yourself towards some objective goal, rather than just doing stuff that accomplishes the goals you have.

I would suggest a term like “revolutionary behavior” to reflect the sort of DBT-communist merge that I think both you and I are sort of reaching towards