this is exactly what i mean about them being terrible for mental health because they made me feel the same way so many times
but i dunno, im definitely no prize but i managed to get a good amount of dates and find both my previous and current long term partner on them
like yeah the beautiful people have all the advantages but also so many people have terrible profiles and pictures and do themselves a massive disservice and working on that did wonders for me
this is all from a cishet perspective in a fairly big city though, im sure its muuuuuch more brutal otherwise
edit to add some shitty advice that i guess worked for me:
i think the apps that work depend on where you are and which of them everyone around you is using, theres no point using one with nobody on it even if its the "best" one
selling yourself on dating apps is like fucking torture but i think its worth it, try and put interesting shit in your bio about shit youre interested in and take new pictures if you dont have any flattering ones. id urge you to have a look through the profiles of your competition and note profiles that look like they come across well (and try to work out why) but also to note how absolutely incredibly dogshit most of the other profiles are, thats your key advantage (not being a gross creep is your other key advantage)
the apps i thought worked best were okcupid (though it was in its death throes last i looked) and bumble (VERY much a cishet focused one though) but ymmv depending on where you are and what your situation is
they all have shitty algorithms designed to push the "hottest" people to the top of the pile, theres ways to game the algorithms though and its also worth nuking your account and starting a fresh one every now and then cos new accounts get a boost to hook you in
im pretty sure its a universal experience that matches dont mean shit and at least half of them will never message or reply, and half of those that do reply will be torture to try and get a conversation out of. its not just you
this is exactly what i mean about them being terrible for mental health because they made me feel the same way so many times
but i dunno, im definitely no prize but i managed to get a good amount of dates and find both my previous and current long term partner on them
like yeah the beautiful people have all the advantages but also so many people have terrible profiles and pictures and do themselves a massive disservice and working on that did wonders for me
this is all from a cishet perspective in a fairly big city though, im sure its muuuuuch more brutal otherwise
edit to add some shitty advice that i guess worked for me:
i think the apps that work depend on where you are and which of them everyone around you is using, theres no point using one with nobody on it even if its the "best" one
selling yourself on dating apps is like fucking torture but i think its worth it, try and put interesting shit in your bio about shit youre interested in and take new pictures if you dont have any flattering ones. id urge you to have a look through the profiles of your competition and note profiles that look like they come across well (and try to work out why) but also to note how absolutely incredibly dogshit most of the other profiles are, thats your key advantage (not being a gross creep is your other key advantage)
the apps i thought worked best were okcupid (though it was in its death throes last i looked) and bumble (VERY much a cishet focused one though) but ymmv depending on where you are and what your situation is
they all have shitty algorithms designed to push the "hottest" people to the top of the pile, theres ways to game the algorithms though and its also worth nuking your account and starting a fresh one every now and then cos new accounts get a boost to hook you in
im pretty sure its a universal experience that matches dont mean shit and at least half of them will never message or reply, and half of those that do reply will be torture to try and get a conversation out of. its not just you