Red flags, bits of wisdom, finding people, whatever.

  • DirtbagVegan [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Don’t begin your first date with a quiz about dialectical materialism.

  • Alex_Jones [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Begin your first date with a quiz about dialectical materialism.

  • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Use colourful plumage, a high pitched warbling sqawk and finally an awkward hopping dance with your feathers on full display.

  • Babalouie [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    one of my friends started dating his landlord, and now I can't send him any memes about hating landlords.

    so i guess don't date landlords if you still want to get fire memes

  • SteamedHamberder [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Think of it like a social grill pill. Find an activity that you enjoy that includes the kind of people you find attractive.

    • LeninWalksTheWorld [any]
      ·
      3 years ago

      hmm well I enjoy a lot of things (except sports lol) but I don't usually meet many people so I don't know where I should go. where can you meet people?

  • RandyLahey [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    dont use the words "proletariat", "bourgeoisie", or "guillotine" on the first date

    online dating is dehumanising and awful and terrible for mental health but its where everyone is these days and it works soooo

      • RandyLahey [he/him]
        ·
        3 years ago

        this is exactly what i mean about them being terrible for mental health because they made me feel the same way so many times

        but i dunno, im definitely no prize but i managed to get a good amount of dates and find both my previous and current long term partner on them

        like yeah the beautiful people have all the advantages but also so many people have terrible profiles and pictures and do themselves a massive disservice and working on that did wonders for me

        this is all from a cishet perspective in a fairly big city though, im sure its muuuuuch more brutal otherwise

        edit to add some shitty advice that i guess worked for me:

        • i think the apps that work depend on where you are and which of them everyone around you is using, theres no point using one with nobody on it even if its the "best" one

        • selling yourself on dating apps is like fucking torture but i think its worth it, try and put interesting shit in your bio about shit youre interested in and take new pictures if you dont have any flattering ones. id urge you to have a look through the profiles of your competition and note profiles that look like they come across well (and try to work out why) but also to note how absolutely incredibly dogshit most of the other profiles are, thats your key advantage (not being a gross creep is your other key advantage)

        • the apps i thought worked best were okcupid (though it was in its death throes last i looked) and bumble (VERY much a cishet focused one though) but ymmv depending on where you are and what your situation is

        • they all have shitty algorithms designed to push the "hottest" people to the top of the pile, theres ways to game the algorithms though and its also worth nuking your account and starting a fresh one every now and then cos new accounts get a boost to hook you in

        • im pretty sure its a universal experience that matches dont mean shit and at least half of them will never message or reply, and half of those that do reply will be torture to try and get a conversation out of. its not just you

    • Torenico [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      it works

      You sure? it's been two months of me using these shit apps and so far I managed to exchange a few words with one random person I matched with.

      And yes, it's terrible for mental health.

    • Koa_lala [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      online dating is dehumanising and awful and terrible for mental health but its where everyone is these days and it works soooo

      It works? :sadness-abysmal:

  • penguin_von_doom [she/her]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Dont. Love is counterrevolutionary. Your mind should be occupied with praxis, your date should be the revolution, your passion reserved for overthrowing :porky-happy:

  • deadtoddler420 [any]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Don't talk a shitload about leftism on the first date when all you really do is listen to leftist podcasts.

    Definitely try to do Nick Mullen's Bill Maher routine on the first date

    • CthulhusIntern [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      To add to this, don't go out of your way to break social rules, but don't worry that much about following them to a T. I've had a few times where I approached a girl with earbuds in, which is generally seen as bad, and her hair covered her ears so I didn't see the earbuds, but she was clearly fine with talking to me and enjoyed the conversation. If she said she was busy or ignored me, I wouldn't have pushed.