Have any queer vibes to share? Here's your place! :hexbear-pride:
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
:no-copyright: No cishets allowed :blob-no:
I'm mentally preparing myself to re-enter the dating scene for the first time since transition! I'm still not very comfortable putting myself out there, but I'm gonna try my best :blob-no-thoughts:
I really appreciate you saying that! It means a lot :trans-ferret:
I started spiro and it's fucked me up. The lethargy and the foggy thinking has been the worst part
Just started seeing someone and I'm giving myself stomach ulcers thinking I'm going to unconciously tank it like I did my last same-sex relationship out of unresolved fear of my deeply religious, conservative family.
Went to a Halloween party last weekend for the first time since I transitioned almost ten years ago.
It was nice and I got flirted with, but my social anxiety is so crippling I had a really hard time engaging with people and I had to get really stoned to try and relax. I've spent the last week picking over the experience in my head.
I am trans (ftm) and I'm pretty sure I'm gay, but I'm terrified of men. I was raised to believe that all men were going to hurt me, and after a few nasty experiences I have a hard time being around other men w/o having a panic attack. I transitioned late, I'm autistic, socializing is a nightmare.
I completely pass and look really masc as well edit I mention this because the disparity between my looks and behavior is really jarring. Ive had cis men scream at me for behaving like a child, when I don't know what the expectations are
I worry that I'll never have the social life I had before transitioning.
That's awesome you did that though! I also have my share of inhibiting social anxiety, and while I'm sure our experiences are quite different, I want to tell you what I'm always telling myself: don't turn that success into a failure. You did something that was hard for you and you didn't fall flat on your face. You succeeded! Sure, you didn't execute it flawlessly. You felt anxious, and had to smoke weed, and didn't connect with people in the way you would have liked, and so fucking what, it doesn't matter. You did better than last time when you didn't go to the party at all. Maybe next time it'll be almost exactly the same except you really connect with someone. Maybe the time after that you don't need the weed as much. Or maybe it goes exactly the same as the first time, which is still a success because you didn't let a less-than-perfect experience stop you from trying again.
That's the sort of thing I've been reminding myself in my own experience putting myself out there more, and learning how to move amongst the gays. There's no roadmap for this stuff, no competition and no timeline. The only metric we should be measuring against is our past selves, and we should remember those past selves were already cool and good and okay to begin with.
Omg thank you.
"Don't turn your successes into failures" is something I will keep in mind. Very good advice
So I've been on hrt for 3 years now. I've only over the past year been able to figure out my sexuality as I've gotten space from some toxic people in my life.
When I came out back then I moved to a new city where I knew nobody. I've gone to some queer events (hard due to a bad work schedule) and hung out with other trans folks but nothing stuck. Part of it was my own social anxiety and part of it that covid hit. Now two years in it's a little better but the pandemic still makes it difficult to meet new people.
So I'm basically stuck with out of state friends by phone or work friends for support. All are cis, and most are cishet. It's...hard. I'm not really sure what to do and I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes since I present really butch a lot of the time and although I'm out, it feels like I'm just like presenting as a guy depending on the situation. I normally get gendered as a guy around strangers due to my voice. Idk. I just tried online dating a few weeks ago and I really didn't like it. I'll find a queer event on Meetup every once in a while but then end up backing out of going to anything because I'm scared it'll be a waste of time and I don't feel especially good putting myself out there in public. Shit's all messed up, I feel like I'm in a deadlock
I'm gradually getting back into all that really gay shit I had just started doing right before the pandemic brought it all to a halt. Like nude social events and sex parties and all that fun stuff. Feels good man
I didn't even know nude social events existed, what's it like? Is there a mix of socializing and hornyness or is it mostly just for hooking up?
For me it's mostly nude yoga, but I know the organizer does like, naked brunches and stuff which I haven't attended yet. The yoga classes are definitely not about hooking up, but there's a certain level of what I guess I'd call "erotic energy"? There are partnered poses and stuff that can get very intimate, and erections are taken as compliments, and there are plenty of sex jokes flying around, but no one's having actual sex there. It's a very accepting and supportive environment, I really like it.
I'd count the sex parties as nude social events too bc the ones I've been to have been very low-pressure, no obligation to hook up with anyone, lots of people know each other, and there are areas for just hanging out without having sex.
The guy I talked about crushing on last week I found out was in a relationship already, but I'm not bummed out or anything about it. I'm actually relieved since I'm still not out at all and like I don't want these whole feelings anyway, still working on me.
Anyways, it was a :gator-bi: week once again, stay tuned for next week (the results will probably not shock anyone tho)
