There actually are some really obscure weird Finnish nationalist circles I can only describe as Finnish Hoteps, who believe ancient Finland had a sophisticated advanced civilization, sometimes even going so far as to claim that every other great civilization actually descended from ancient Finns.
These types tend to really fucking hate Sweden and think Finland's annexation into Sweden (The concept of Finland or Finnishness did not really exist back then) was as bad as what was done to the Native Americans and African Americans
I think a lot of their ramblings come straight from dudes like this:
https://fi.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sigurd_Wettenhovi-Aspa
The English Wikipedia article omits a lot of the juicier details about this guy so you'll have to try Google translating the Finnish one
I'll translate a couple of fun bits:
1900-luvun alussa Wettenhovi-Aspasta tuli innokas fennomaani ja hän alkoi kehitellä omia kvasikielitieteellisiä teorioitaan, joiden mukaan kaikki sivistys oli lähtöisin Suomesta.
"In the beginning of the 20th century Wettenhovi-Aspa became a zealous fennoman and he began to develop his own quasi-linguistic theories that claimed that all civilisation originated from Finland."
Kirjassa Wettenhovi-Aspa väittää, että muinaisen Egyptin kulttuurin olivat kehittäneet sinne Jaavalta[2] Intian kautta vaeltaneet suomalaiset ja että indoeurooppalaiset kielet polveutuisivat suomalais-egyptiläisestä alkukielestä, joka on samalla ihmiskunnan alkukieli[2]. Teoriaansa Wettenhovi-Aspa kutsui ”fennoegyptologiaksi”. Wettenhovi-Aspa väitti myös, että saksalaiset olivat alun perin suomalais-ugrilaista kansaa, joka oli vuosisatojen kuluessa siirtynyt käyttämään germaanista kieltä.
"In his book Wettenhovi-Aspa claims that the culture of ancient Egypt was developed by Finns who travelled there from Java via India and that the Indo-European languages had descended from a basal Fenno-Egyptian language that was simultaneously the ur-language of mankind. Wettenhovi-Aspa named his theory "fennoegyptology". Wettenhovi-Aspa also claimed that Germans were originally a fenno-ugric people who had, through the passage of centuries, shifted to using a germanic language."
Wettenhovi-Aspa väitti muun muassa, että pyramidi tulee sanasta ”pyhät raamit”, seepra sanasta ”seurahepo”, Espanja eli Hispanja sanasta ”Hiisipainijaisenmaa”, Berkeley sanasta ”perkele”, ruotsin kielen sana människa sanasta ”maannussija” ja niin edelleen. Saksassa teoria ihastutti Heinrich Himmleriä ja hänen salaseuraansa.
"Among other things, Wettenhovi-Aspa claimed that the word pyramid is derived from the Finnish words for "sacred frames", the word zebra from "sociable horse", Spain, or Hispania from "land of the goblin wrestlers", Berkeley from "perkele", the Swedish word människa from "earth fucker" and so on. In Germany Himmler and his secret society were delighted by the theory."
the culture of ancient Egypt was developed by Finns who travelled there from Java via India
Of course! It's so obvious!
You gotta love late 18th century-early 20th century European race theories explaining why the author's specific ethnicity is actually the most awesomest one using tortured pretzel logic(and why ancient cultures across the world were definitely NOT developed by the non-white people who actually live there)
I love this, it's the kind of insane that i love. "fennoegyptology" is a great term. If I ever have the time i'd love to write a story where all of these theories are true at the same time. Thanks for translating.
Edit: Apparently there are also swedish people who believe sweden to be the oldest kingdom in the world.
THOSE SWEDES ARE STEALING FENNO-EGYPTIAN VALOUR, THE FILTHY LIARS
🇫🇮:frothingfash: 🇫🇮
You forgot the time the Children of the Night razed Audapaupadopolis
lets not forget how bad the future is oging to be: http://commonsenseatheism.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/timeline.png
who could forget the Finish Matrialchal Empire of Üddüddüddül Lüsulu
