Fidel Castro is literally throwing people into the wood chipper as we speak.

My source is about as credible as it gets: A Cuban dissident pro-democracy activist based in Miami told me, after having cried with joy for eleven hours after having seen a Flaming Hot Cheeto for the first time.

The only reason anybody could have for not believing this is if they were a Russia tankie pro-Trump troll-bot controlled by the evil See See Pee.