This article is absolutely top tier
“I had one chance to assassinate President Reagan, and I totally blew it.”
I feel the same way about Biden.
Back when I was still a more of a :LIB: I was volunteering for a dem (who of course turned out to be a corporate piece of shit) and had a chance to meet Biden at an event.
I chose not to attend because I didn't feel like making a scene by calling him out on all of his racist imperialist bullshit he's done but all I had to do was shake his hand a bit too hard and his brittle ass would have shattered.
I'm sorry, you can all blame me for Biden being president.
:to-the-moon: this is the way
There's the occasional mild throwaway, but some people just immediately start violently shitting on themselves and it's like "what the fuck is this I do not consent to watching this".
I deserve to be flattened underneath a low-flying blimp.
This one sounds like a kink. :volcel-judge:
Everyone else is already insulting you, the last thing you need is for your own brain to join in.
:oh-shit:
Trust me, you are. Just turn off your brain and post awful shit. Eventually it gets marginally better.
The Onion continues to surprise me with how good it can be. Did it used to be more lib, or did I?