Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus, known mainly as Suetonius among English speakers, was an ancient Roman historian who wrote during the early part of the Principate.

Gaius Suetonius Tranquillus was probably born in around AD 69 (nice). Most scholars place his birthplace at around Hippo Regius, a small town in the Roman province of Proconsular Africa. His family was of moderate social position: his father, Suetonius Laetus, was a tribune, and it is known that Suetonius himself received his education from schools of rhetoric

His most famous (surviving, that is) work is De vita Caesarum, often translated as "Lives of the Caesars", documents the lives and achievements and depradations of 12 Roman Emperors: Julius Caesar, Augustus, Tiberius, Caligula, Claudius, Nero, Galba, Otho, Vitellius, Vespasian, Titus and Domitian. The work tells the tale of each Caesar's life according to a set formula: the descriptions of appearance, omens, family history, quotes, and then a history are given in a consistent order for each Caesar. He also recorded the earliest accounts of Julius Caesar's epileptic seizures.

Of course, Suetonius wrote other things, too, but those aren't as famous. Despite this, and because of this, I'll list them here.

Of the ones that are partly extant:

  • De Illustribus Grammaticis ("Lives of the Grammarians"; 20 brief lives, apparently complete)
  • De Claris Rhetoribus ("Lives of the Rhetoricians"; 5 brief lives out of an original 16 survive)
  • De Poetis ("Lives of the Poets"; the life of Virgil, as well as fragments from the lives of Terence, Horace and Lucan, survive)
  • De Historicis ("Lives of the historians"; a brief life of Pliny the Elder is attributed to this work)
  • Peri ton par' Hellesi paidion ("Greek Games")
  • Peri blasphemion ("Greek Terms of Abuse")

The last two were written in Greek.

The edition I recently read of Lives of the Caesars was translated by Catherine Edwards, and is a pretty good read, if you're into classical history, like I am.

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  • LoudMuffin [he/him]
    ·
    3 years ago

    you'll grow out of communism once you get a REAL job sport

    pats head and hands you a copy of Freakonomics

    What you reading right now kid? Hegel? Fisher? Derrida? Read this: Hands you the autobiography of Barack Obama

    You just need to read more, and you'll grow out of those idealistic views! Your great grandfather fled the Russian Revolution, you know!

    bit idea: upper class White Person San Francisco Thanksgiving Dinner with Marxist Nephew and Neoliberal Dad working at Apple making $300,000 a year

      • LoudMuffin [he/him]
        ·
        3 years ago

        probably not, some of the people who live around here scare and confuse me

        like the people I was in AP classes with who post their entire lives on FB, their families are all college educated adults and they prolly sit around the table at dinner talking about news and neoliberal shit and foreign policy and "intellectual" type stuff, at least I get the feeling they do that from what I've seen and how I've interacted with these people's parents when I was in highschool band

        meanwhile there's some weird Mexican dude (me) in a moldy garage reading Capital Vol 1 and realizing my thoughts about the world are largely invalid because I'm poor and grew up poor

        Everytime I interact with these people or come to know of them I realize just what a fucking VAST gap there is between certain classes of people in the USA, like I remember looking at my math homework in HS which was like Algebra 1 and feeling despair because no one in my family had done shit like that

        like imagine having both your parents speak English and have a college education

        you know how to play that game already

        • FidelCashflow [he/him]
          ·
          edit-2
          3 years ago

          It's weird right. Cause objectively those kinds of people did more school than us, they ought to be better educated and sharper.

          It really seems like all that training to was build the mind power up enough that it can simultaniously hold all the contradictions of calpitalism. It is at once such a waste and so terrible to see so much work put into those people for not ourtxomr at all.

        • Rem [she/her]
          ·
          3 years ago

          like the people I was in AP classes with who post their entire lives on FB, their families are all college educated adults and they prolly sit around the table at dinner talking about news and neoliberal shit and foreign policy and “intellectual” type stuff

          I have childhood friends like this, they're all actively in the process of driving themselves insane via social media

    • AlephNull [she/her]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Throw in granddad ODing in the bathroom and you've practically got hit 2006 American tragicomedy road film Little Miss Sunshine