Publius Vergilius Maro, known as Virgil to most English-speaking places, was an ancient Roman poet and author who lived in the time of Augustus. Three of the most famous Latin poems were composed by him: the Eclogues (or Bucolics), the Georgics, and the epic the Aeneid. A number of minor poems, collected in a work known as teh Appendix Vergiliana, were attributed to him in ancient times, but nowadays many scholars doubt it.
Rome has traditionally been considered Rome's greatest poet, with his Aeneid being called the greatest Latin poem and a national epic (which I disagree with because it's way too derivative of the Odyssey, but whatever.)
The works of Virgil have had a wide influence in Western literature, most notably in Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy, in which he appears to guide Dante through Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven.
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"Now I'm a little Motivated!"- Virgil, presumably, after he realized he could simply rip off the Odyssey.
No friends. ✔️ Can't work. ✔️ Rudderless. ✔️ Rotting. ✔️ Me too. I'm really really scared about where things are headed for me. You too?
It comes and goes in waves. I'm disabled, but I've got enough money to live for a while at least. And I go back and forth between existential horror, defeated ambivalence, and playing hundreds of hours of Destiny. When the games don't work as a distraction is the worst. Nothing to think about and too much mind to think.
You're right, it definitely comes in waves for me too. Things can feel almost optimistic for short-lived crests even, but man those troughs, like you said, of defeat and horror, they feel like they last fucking forever. My condolences about your disability. I'm currently applying for SSI, but I still feel like I don't deserve it since it's a personality disorder and PTSD. My physical problems aren't bad enough yet to prevent me from working. I play games too, open world and puzzles here and there but I always feel guilty for doing so. Keep telling myself I need to either be creative or help people somehow, not sit and checkout for hours every day. But I tell myself I'll do what I should do as soon as I get in a better emotional space. But that never comes and I know it never will, so I realize I'm just fooling myself. But I also hear you about when the distractions don't work... and you're just stuck with your own iniquities and all those regrets and... yeah, I'm just talking about myself here, I don't know how it is for you. Sorry.
You know, I'm trying to express solidarity and just share some common ground, similar shitty experience, etc. But I re-read it and it just sounds like I'm ranting about my own shit. So I don't know. I feel for you, comrade. And I hope things start getting better for you. I'll just stfu beyond that. Fwiw, I really enjoy your insightful posts/comments. Thanks.
We should build a society where people aren't told "You have to work or you're worthless and deserve to starve" but also "You have to manage everything individually and we will not aid you in any way".
Margaret Mead, one of the great Anthropologists, used to tell a story about a broken bone. A femur. They found the skeleton of an ancient person from 15,000 years ago who broke their femur very badly, but it had healed and they lived for many many years afterwards.
In nature, if a creature breaks it's femur, it dies. It's almost an immutable law. If you break your femur badly then you can't walk. If you can't walk you can't get to food, and more importantly you can't get to water, so you die very quickly.
But this ancient person survived. They survived for the months the break would need to heal, and then for many years after that. The only way that's possible is if other people helped them. 15,000 years ago people who were likely nomadic or semi-nomadic hunters and gatherers said "We're going to transport, feed, and protect this person for months and months because they can't transport, feed, and protect themselves right now". Dr. Mead says that she views that broken bone as the beginning of human civilization. The act of kindness and compassion, to take care of someone, knowing they could still die, knowing they won't be able to contribute to some meager notion of survival that counts every calorie.
It hasn't always been like this, where people who have difficulty are simply abandoned. It doesn't need to be like this. We didn't do anything to deserve misery and neglect. Playing games, solving puzzles, we're trying to keep our minds engaged and occupied in a situation where we've been largely abandoned by society because we can't labor to eek out another penny of profit for some capitalist monster far away.
And it hurts to be excluded from work. Even if work is horrible, it's the only social outlet most people have. it's the only engaging activity most people have. doubly so if you have mental health problems that make other social outlets more difficult.
Idk, I'm rambling now. But it doesn't have to be this way. It can be better.