Sometimes people see me treat my kids with kindness or respect in a way they find unusual and ask, “aren’t you worried that you’re setting unrealistic expectations for the world?” And the answer is yes. I am worried precisely because I am setting unrealistic expectations. And when the world fails my children, it will not be my fault that they react with the correct indignance. But when they treat themselves with kindness and understanding and when they don’t think little enough of themselves to think they somehow deserve the abuse, that will be a success of our parenting, at least in part.
A lot of it is also stuff that’s just setting boundaries for my children too. I have a friend who snoops through his daughter’s Roblox DMs to make sure no one’s grooming her and I’m like if you can’t trust her to exist safely on a platform, the answer is not to condone her using it and then secretly monitor her. The same behavior from a future partner of hers would send you through the fucking roof. But then again, if she finds out you’re snooping she’s not gonna tell you about that shit anyway
Ya the thing is.... if you treat your kids with disrespect, that becomes their normal, and they end up tolerating shit they shouldn't when they're older. I'm the fecking textbook case of this. People with loving parents end up staying far the fuck away from abusive people. I think you'll agree this is in thy child's best interest.
I've spent double digit number of hours wishing or fantasizing that my dad would be like this. Literally thank you for being decent to your kids.
Yeah that hits the nail right on the head. I wished my dad would be more like that as well. It’s definitely more effort and some people are running on limited resources, but a lot of parents have just never given it the thought or haven’t prioritized it
Sometimes people see me treat my kids with kindness or respect in a way they find unusual and ask, “aren’t you worried that you’re setting unrealistic expectations for the world?” And the answer is yes. I am worried precisely because I am setting unrealistic expectations. And when the world fails my children, it will not be my fault that they react with the correct indignance. But when they treat themselves with kindness and understanding and when they don’t think little enough of themselves to think they somehow deserve the abuse, that will be a success of our parenting, at least in part.
A lot of it is also stuff that’s just setting boundaries for my children too. I have a friend who snoops through his daughter’s Roblox DMs to make sure no one’s grooming her and I’m like if you can’t trust her to exist safely on a platform, the answer is not to condone her using it and then secretly monitor her. The same behavior from a future partner of hers would send you through the fucking roof. But then again, if she finds out you’re snooping she’s not gonna tell you about that shit anyway
Ya the thing is.... if you treat your kids with disrespect, that becomes their normal, and they end up tolerating shit they shouldn't when they're older. I'm the fecking textbook case of this. People with loving parents end up staying far the fuck away from abusive people. I think you'll agree this is in thy child's best interest.
I've spent double digit number of hours wishing or fantasizing that my dad would be like this. Literally thank you for being decent to your kids.
Yeah that hits the nail right on the head. I wished my dad would be more like that as well. It’s definitely more effort and some people are running on limited resources, but a lot of parents have just never given it the thought or haven’t prioritized it