Hello Polyam Comrades 
Hopefully your week is starting off well! Sorry for not posting over the holidays, my brain wasn't functional enough to do it, but here we are back at it in the new year. To help foster a safe and inclusive space for polaymory discussion, we wanted to provide weekly discussion topics! The goal is that we share our stories and our experiences, listen to each other, provide safe space for each other, and learn from each other. Please ask questions and provide answers in good faith only, let's be the wonderful communicators I know we all are.
This week's discussion topic is: Ask That Burning Question You Have!
Maybe you're new to polyamory and are unsure about something and need some clarifications, maybe you've seen polyamory in a movie and are wondering if that's how it really is, maybe you're a polyam pro but need a suggestion for a better calendar app than google calendar to manage your various polycule schedules (this is me someone please help me I'm overwhelmed by my google calendar right now I've got like pod's pods on there and it's not helpful anymore).
Please feel free to use this thread to suggest future discussion topics as well, ideas you have to foster a better community, or feedback you have about the community.
Has anyone here had polyamory work for them and sustained it for a long stretch (say 12 months)
Yeah. I've had one relationship that lasted about a year. We broke up because she wanted kids and I was cursed by god with genetically inherited severe mental health problems and can't have kids (if you were wondering why I'm always talking about killing god). She was moving away and it was a natural point to end things. Hurt a lot, but we mutually agreed it was a good time to end things. We didn't keep in touch but last I hear she was doing well.
Had another relationship that went about 18 months but broke down due to a bunch of factors. My partner was having serious problems with her other partner as their relationship fell apart, she felt a lot of stress and pressure to support me (again, mental health problems, attack and dethrone god), she was struggling to cope with a lot of her own trauma as well as housing and poverty. We mutually agreed to call it off and we're still buddies almost a decade later.
polyam for 13.5 years, current relationships 12 years (and they've been with their other partner over 20), 13 years, 8 years (though we broke up for a bit), and 2 years.
Define that further, do you mean the same person or the same set of people? I personally know a guy who fits the looser definition. Cool dude, spent time in Greece and Chiapas working with anarchist stuff. He’s been poly for well over a decade now. I ’m the guy he calls when he has a breakup and it’s not every year. So the 12 months you listed would apply.
I know you said here, but I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he was and just had Better opsec than me.
Had two partners for six years, and my one remaining partner has partners other than me. Don't know if I could entrust my heart with monoamorists
I've been polyamorous for like 4.5 years, so yes definitely. Have had one partner for 15 years (we were monogamous for much of that though!), another for 4, various other friends with romance and other relationship arrangements I have been involved with over the past few years. I'm part of a larger polyamory community in my area and I have friends from that who have been polyamorous for well over a decade. Someone I'm seeing lately has been polyamorous for nearly 20 years.
So yes! Definitely! I think polyamory is a very sustainable relationship style/orientation if done ethically and intentionally