The plot is basically:

spoiler

Lab leak virus used by Russian scientist and evil Egyptian man (I guess) to do white genocide (literally, but it's only mentioned in a couple second graphic and one sentence from the Russian) from Soviet communist bunker. Thwarted by James Bond and British government violating international law, also saving Bond's girlfriend and blue-eyed (this is mentioned a bunch) blonde haired aryan daughter.

  • MiraculousMM [he/him, any]
    ·
    edit-2
    3 years ago

    Bond movies (specifically Craig movies) are kind of my guilty pleasure despite all the obviously problematic stuff. I mostly enjoyed it even though it's extremely messy and chauvanist and the ending is so hilarious I couldn't take it seriously at all.

    spoilers for ending

    He has his big final showdown with the [boring, awful] villain who infects Bond with the Virus(TM) which makes it so if he ever touches his gf or his daughter, they will instantly die a horrific death. The Virus(TM) is actually nanobots that target DNA, so in theory if the nanobots are destroyed/disabled somehow he'd be cured. Conveniently, Q gives him an EMP watch earlier in the movie that should do the trick, right? Nope, instead he decides he must stay on the island as it's blown up and die for no fucking reason. It's a super drawn out, overdramatic death scene too, and the shot where he's just standing there watching 20 missiles slowly come at him while swelling orchestral music plays is so fucking funny that I couldn't stop laughing. What a shit way to send off that character.

    I liked most of the rest of the movie though barring the weird lab-leak shit. The cinematography in particular is fantastic in pretty much all the Craig films.

    Also Ana de Armas' scene is really cool and Bond actually doesn't sleep with her which is :halal:

    • blobjim [he/him]
      hexagon
      ·
      3 years ago

      Yeah the cinematography for these movies is always great. The villain "lair" on the island, although kinda empty, was pretty interesting looking too. And yeah thankfully they got the sex scene out of the way with at the beginning and teased another one at least 3 other times but it never happened xD.

      spoiler

      Conveniently, Q gives him an EMP watch earlier in the movie that should do the trick, right? Nope, instead he decides he must stay on the island as it’s blown up and die for no fucking reason.

      Well conveniently earlier Q also tells him there is no way to get rid of the nanobots (really, there's no possible vaccine!?)

      I agree completely though, the ending was hilariously bad. The worst possible way for Bond to die. LITERALLY FROM FRIENDLY FIRE FROM BOMBS THEY DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO USE. Why was there so much urgency to carpet bomb an island?!?! And all they needed to do was fire into the missile silos or use a bunker-buster or just do nothing. Bond could have died fighting some ruthless villain in a Sherlock Holmes waterfall type scene. It could have been anything. But he dies just standing there, doesn't even get a good ending line! And the movie isn't even over at that point.

      And the closing quote:

      "The function of man is to live, not to exist.

      I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

      I shall use my time."

      sounds like they're anti-lock down boomers or something xD

      • rubpoll [she/her]
        ·
        edit-2
        3 years ago

        "The function of man is to live, not to exist.

        I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

        I shall use my time."

        And the subconscious suicide cult of capitalism marches on.

        "Having a sense of self-preservation? Pretty sus, bro."

      • MiraculousMM [he/him, any]
        ·
        3 years ago

        And the movie isn’t even over at that point.

        Oh god I actually forgot about the very end

        spoiler

        "I want to tell you about a man named...Bond.........James Bond" um uh she knows him. They just met and he saved her life like 5 times! And the MI6 people randomly standing around dressed in black, it didn't even seem like they missed him at all and just wanted to get back to work :michael-laugh:

    • hexaflexagonbear [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      They have major flaws (one of them being the length of the movie, could use some trimming down) but I really liked the last two Bond movies. Casino Royale and skyfall were great movies, but felt very different from usual Bond campiness. I liked that the last two bond movies tried to find a synthesis between the new and old bond styles.

    • baguettePants [he/him]
      ·
      3 years ago

      The rather short scenes with Ana de Armas were the only ones which drew my attention. Everything else, basically entire movie, was boring, dumb and trashy.