anyway looking forward to the new jurassic park x dominion collab, think it will really open some peoples eyes about the horrific abuses perpetrated by the dinosaur agriculture industry

  • FlakesBongler [they/them]
    ·
    3 years ago

    Is there a level above war criminal?

    Like, what do you call someone who created a singular threat to the entire ecosystem for laughs?

    spoiler

    Yes, I know the twist they introduced to the series with the new ones being that it was a stepping stone to human cloning, but that fucking sucks so I choose to ignore it

    • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
      ·
      3 years ago

      Is there a level above war criminal?

      Capitalist, which Hammond is. I was joking but I could see the military contacting him about weaponizing his dinosaur technology, battlefield applications.

      • FlakesBongler [they/them]
        ·
        3 years ago

        Having played Turok: Dinosaur Hunter, I understand something the military doesn't

        Dinosaurs are helpless in the face of a shotgun, some know-how and magic portals

        • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
          ·
          edit-2
          3 years ago

          The pentagon dumps a billion into Hammond's dinos only for them to get wrecked out in Afghanistan by farmers with shotguns. Poor dinos :(

          • RandyLahey [he/him]
            hexagon
            ·
            edit-2
            3 years ago

            a plot point in the most recent one is

            spoiler

            they make a genetically modified super-raptor for explicitly military purposes, that responds to laser pointers and sound cues. so if you point the laser sights on your gun at someone and pull a special trigger, the raptor will run out and attack them

            responding to the age old conundrum of how do you kill someone that you are pointing a gun at

            • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
              ·
              edit-2
              3 years ago

              Yeah in all actuality dino's would be a liability on the battlefield, but I'm sure the military would be interested in the gene sequencing tech or whatever that goes into it, like you said for cloning or gene editing ala Metal Gear Solid.

              • RandyLahey [he/him]
                hexagon
                ·
                3 years ago

                i think the best military use for them would be to just dump a bunch of raptors into the forests/jungles/mountains of whatever country youre trying to invade/destabilise and let them wreak havoc behind the lines. pretty sure there would be no reason to worry about your actions having any sort of unintended consequences or anything

                this film is dedicated to the brave velociraptor fighters of afghanistan

                • KobaCumTribute [she/her]
                  ·
                  edit-2
                  3 years ago

                  The problem is that they're still just animals. Like what, they eat some local wildlife, maybe pick off some smaller farm animals or jump the odd person who's alone in the woods? Wolves, bears, mountain lions, lions, tigers, and even coyotes will do that shit. What are some cassowary-esque wolf lizards going to do different? Look weird doing it before getting shot or poisoned by ranchers?

                  No one's airlifting wolves into periphery countries to marginally cut into local farmers profits and frighten people. The closest sort of thing is the US deploying bioweapons against Cuban agriculture.

                  • RandyLahey [he/him]
                    hexagon
                    ·
                    3 years ago

                    talking movie raptors here, which are portrayed as particularly fast, aggressive, super smart pack hunters that love attacking people and are waaay more dangerous than wolves/lions, and the whole thing that theyre modified to have super fast life cycles too so would presumably proliferate pretty uncontrollably and be hard to wipe out. not gonna wipe out a city but be a serious danger to rural villages, and would be an ongoing problem (and source of terror far in excess of their actual kill count) demanding a response. seems like the sort of thing that couldnt be handled by ranchers with shotguns but would need an actual military response that would be a substantial ongoing drain on the countrys military resources. and you dont even have to keep paying them or supplying them with weapons, its like a cia wet dream

            • Ram_The_Manparts [he/him]
              ·
              3 years ago

              responding to the age old conundrum of how do you kill someone that you are pointing a gun at

              Finally someone figured that shit out

          • FlakesBongler [they/them]
            ·
            3 years ago

            The portal is to travel to the Lost Land so you can hunt down the Chronomancer responsible for unleashing the dinosaurs and cyborgs and cyborg-dinosaurs

              • FlakesBongler [they/them]
                ·
                3 years ago

                I forget which Turok game it is, but the final boss is a Confederate general riding a cyborg T-Rex

                They don't make much sense, but they are fun in a clunky kind of way

                  • stevaloo [they/them, she/her]
                    ·
                    edit-2
                    3 years ago

                    When I played it as a kid, I thought the bad guy had named the T. Rex "Savage"

                    :agony-wholesome:

                    He says it twice and the first time the dinosaur roars after he delivers it, so it came off as a command. The second time he's pinned under its corpse so I figured he was just telling it to get up.