I've been job hunting for a few months with zero luck. None of the jobs I wanted would even call me back. Well, frustrated and bored, I edited my resume to include all kind of falsehoods.

I added a bachelor's degreefrom a university that is now closed. I picked a field I could bullshit like I know what I'm talking about. I didn't tell them that the school was closed, and I figured it might be hard for them to verify this on their end since it's a bunch of extra steps to get the transcripts.

I changed my last job to an made up one. The job that I had been working is one that I'd honestly like to remove from my work history entirely. It's not that I think they'd give me a bad review, but that they were a sex toy/fetish item retailer. I actually loved working there, but I honestly don't want to have to explain this to my next employer. So I made up a similar company that is just an Amazon reshipper, gave it a google voice number that I controlled, and a made up address.

I changed a bunch of other smaller details, and gave myself a few awards.

And then I went applyin'. 3 days later I had an interview at a local small business. They sent out for an actual background check. I was a nervous wreck for almost a week, but I passed it. I start Monday.

The job I applied for didn't require any real accreditation, but they wanted a bachelor's in essentially anything. So I made one up. It's a small business that doesn't have an HR department. So I doubt they will ever dig any deeper as long as I never give them a reason to do so. They never called my actual last job, and they didn't bring it up in any of the interviews I went. They never even called the made up job with the fake number.

I guess what I'm saying is that to weigh your own risk here. If you think you can get away with it, give it a try. You might be surprised what happens.

  • SoyViking [he/him]
    ·
    2 years ago

    It is good and fine to lie about your degree, just be sure to make lies that you can credibly back up.

    I once heard of a woman who had gone to law school. Her grades in administrative law were really bad so she faked a transcript giving herself top grades in administrative law. She then used this transcript to get a job at the highly prestigious law firm that has provided legal services to the state for ages. These people do nothing but administrative law and they are some of the people who knows most about it. They soon started wondering why their new talented employee lacked basic skills and eventually called the university to get a transcript and promptly fired her.

    Had she given herself average grades nobody would have expected her to be a genius and she would have been able to bullshit her way out of stuff she didn't know. She would maybe have had to suffer the injustice of making ridiculous amounts of money at an average law firm instead of at the most fancy one but nobody would ever have suspected a thing and she could have been a filthy rich lawyer today.