I've been job hunting for a few months with zero luck. None of the jobs I wanted would even call me back. Well, frustrated and bored, I edited my resume to include all kind of falsehoods.
I added a bachelor's degreefrom a university that is now closed. I picked a field I could bullshit like I know what I'm talking about. I didn't tell them that the school was closed, and I figured it might be hard for them to verify this on their end since it's a bunch of extra steps to get the transcripts.
I changed my last job to an made up one. The job that I had been working is one that I'd honestly like to remove from my work history entirely. It's not that I think they'd give me a bad review, but that they were a sex toy/fetish item retailer. I actually loved working there, but I honestly don't want to have to explain this to my next employer. So I made up a similar company that is just an Amazon reshipper, gave it a google voice number that I controlled, and a made up address.
I changed a bunch of other smaller details, and gave myself a few awards.
And then I went applyin'. 3 days later I had an interview at a local small business. They sent out for an actual background check. I was a nervous wreck for almost a week, but I passed it. I start Monday.
The job I applied for didn't require any real accreditation, but they wanted a bachelor's in essentially anything. So I made one up. It's a small business that doesn't have an HR department. So I doubt they will ever dig any deeper as long as I never give them a reason to do so. They never called my actual last job, and they didn't bring it up in any of the interviews I went. They never even called the made up job with the fake number.
I guess what I'm saying is that to weigh your own risk here. If you think you can get away with it, give it a try. You might be surprised what happens.
Everyone should be doing this. I had gaps in my employment due to mental health and a good bit of frequent job hopping for a couple years. I stayed on payroll at my old part time job, even if I hadn't picked up shifts in months so I said my employment was there for the entire time and only included one of the full time jobs that I stuck it out at the longest. No one asked and I got a job I can tolerate now
That one comes with all the "small business owner" propaganda too. So they will probably look at it be awestruck by your tenacity and hard work.
Come up with some idea for a small business that you can bullshit as the owner of, set up a squarspace website for it, call yourself successful, and start applying for real jobs. What are they gonna do, ask you for your business tax records to prove how successful you are? If they ask why you're appling for work, just tell the you're looking for some "stability in your workflow" and "miss the comradery of working with others." :data-laughing:
Unless they pull my tax records during a background check, I don't see how they can verify I've worked anywhere. How would they know to go look for a job if I didn't put it on my resume, and how would they verify a fake job outside of calling it?
And at the end of the day, at every step of the process, there are underpaid and burnt out humans doing the work. Lol so yeah, honestly the whole thing is just designed to intimidate you into telling the truth. There aren't a lot of ways to verify things.
None of this applies to any job that has any kind of licenses or government level clearances though.
You got any suggestions for names for that subreddit? A successful one needs a name that will pop. :thonk:
a family member did this and they did actually call them on it after a couple years but we literally doctored a degree and it was enough for them to keep the job lol
Right lol if they ever ask, I'm just gonna whip up some transcripts or something. :shrug-outta-hecks:
yea we literally photoshopped it and got it notarized or something and never heard about it again lol
It is good and fine to lie about your degree, just be sure to make lies that you can credibly back up.
I once heard of a woman who had gone to law school. Her grades in administrative law were really bad so she faked a transcript giving herself top grades in administrative law. She then used this transcript to get a job at the highly prestigious law firm that has provided legal services to the state for ages. These people do nothing but administrative law and they are some of the people who knows most about it. They soon started wondering why their new talented employee lacked basic skills and eventually called the university to get a transcript and promptly fired her.
Had she given herself average grades nobody would have expected her to be a genius and she would have been able to bullshit her way out of stuff she didn't know. She would maybe have had to suffer the injustice of making ridiculous amounts of money at an average law firm instead of at the most fancy one but nobody would ever have suspected a thing and she could have been a filthy rich lawyer today.
I asked a guy how he had gotten his first job in IT and he told me he set up a fake LLC and had his friend as the contact number, then stated he'd been a senior system admin there for close to a decade.
IT job Googling and bullshiting
Isn't that, like, what IT is tho?
Seriously though, awesome job. This is the first time I'm trying it.
fyi if you worked at something naughty those companies usually have parent companies that dont sound naughty
Though usually true, this one did not. If you looked up the name, you got kink. The owner was soundly of the opinion that any publicity was good, especially if it was outrage. The two or three times the local newspaper had a slow day and wanted to pearl clutch by running an article about us, our sales would spike. So he didn't try to hide anything.
There's also no harm in throwing in some kind of extracurricular organization that people think is practical. Say you were in the scouts or a lifeguard or something, a lot of people like that.
Note: do not lie about lifeguard experience if you will be expected to do any lifeguarding
They like to see first aid or CPR training on there too, even if it isn't current. Some places will pay you to get recertified, too.
This is the only way I've landed jobs. When I was in college a guy boasted about having 3 burner phones to be his own 3 references, he was really good at doing different voices to his credit. I've been my own reference on a spare phone I have for such things and it hasn't backfired yet, lol.
As an unethical life hack, in general people aren't too good at distinguishing voices as we think we are, there are exceptions to this rule (higher level educational, research, and entertainment fields have a good ear) depending what you're looking for so be wary.
They lied to you about so many things already, this is just getting even
Hahaha thanks and definitely. If you can call in favors, or if you can give favors to others, do it. The rich don't hesitate to game the system.
I changed a bunch of other smaller details, and gave myself a few awards.
Here, The Cheat, have a trophy 🏆
Also, there's no shame in using nepotism if you are capable of doing so. Unless it's something like a doctor or pilot role, you can probably catch up in no time and be "qualified" to be there.
Job recruiters are so snooty these days and pretty much demand nothing less than "the best" that you might be better off in reaching out to a cousin or friend and see if they can tell a recruiter "Hey, do me a huge favor and hire this person."
makes you feel like a master criminal
Excuse me sir but I am a master criminal. :disgost:
Yeah, it's not like random employers really have the ability to say "hey xyz person lied" to anyone else you interview with. Just don't mention it looooool
Exactly lol how would they ever know to look if I worked somewhere unless I told them?
Are there any services out there offering fake references and people on standby answering calls to verify them? Seems like something that would be popular in this day and age.
