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    • Interloper [none/use name]
      ·
      3 years ago

      i wouldn't call that trying tbh, might as well use an autoclicker or some shit. i am a man who uses tinder fairly successfully and i think swiping sparsely and genuinely with people who you think are hot but also have depth is a much more effective method. besides, the algorithm thinks swiping right on everyone is suss as fuck because it's bot behavior and you will definitely suffer the wrath of the algorithm and have a shitty experience on tinder.

        • Interloper [none/use name]
          ·
          3 years ago

          sure, that's fair. i don't mean to sound cruel or anything. i can empathize but it is a misunderstanding of the app and what you're doing with your profile, which is commodifying yourself. and everything you commodify about yourself on tinder gets filtered through an algorithm. i guess i can't blame anyone for not knowing that, but tinder is definitely not like lotto tickets to talk to people. it's a lot more complex and ambiguous than that and people learn things about the algorithm from experience and trial and error because obviously tinder doesn't tell you how it works.

          but on a much more surface level, i also think having standards is appropriate and usually helps clarify what you're looking for. if you swipe right on everyone, i wouldn't blame anyone for being suspicious of motives. honestly probably better to take the opposite approach and state exactly what you're looking for in hard terms, alienating everyone except those that fit what you've described.

            • Interloper [none/use name]
              ·
              3 years ago

              except for personality ones

              sounds like that's a standard. but if someone truly didn't have any standards i would either suggest standards as a way of locating a suitable person (and to a large degree, valuing yourself) or if you truly accept all people as they are (which i'm skeptical of, for example i wouldnt date a chud) then maybe that's a more open hearted view of people than i'm prone to understand, but more power to you. if that's the case, unfortunately tinder is working against you but luckily it's hardly the only way to meet people even if it is probably most convenient. but if you have no standards then i think you could meet a suitable person literally anywhere if there's mutual interest.

              my inclination is to suggest that maybe that issue (if it even is an issue to you or your friend) would be better solved by introspection and understanding of yourself.

              idk, i'm not a therapist and i'm all fucked up too. i feel in over my head here.